Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, September 12, 1841 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 61 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, September 12, 1841.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, September 12, 1841 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 61 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, September 12, 1841.

The meeting of the young wife and the wife’s mother was touching in the extreme.  They rushed into each other’s arms, and indulged in plentiful showers of “nature’s dew.”

“Welcome! welcome home, my dear Juliana!” exclaimed the doting mother.  “It’s the first time, Mr. A., that she ever left me since she was 16, for so long a period.  I have had all the beds aired, and all the chairs uncovered.  She’ll be a treasure to you, Mr. A., for a more tractable creature was never vaccinated;” and here the mother overcame the orator, and she wept again.

“My dear mother,” said Agamemnon, “I have already had many reasons to be grateful for my happy fortune.  Don’t you think she is browner than when we left town?”

“Much, much!” sobbed the mother; “but the change is for the better.”

“I’m glad you think so, for Aggy is of the same opinion,” lisped the beautiful ex-Waddledot.  “Tell ma’ the pretty metaphor you indulged in yesterday, Aggy.”

“Why, I merely remarked,” replied Collumpsion, blushing, “that I was pleased to see the horticultural beauties of her cheek superseded by such an exquisite marine painting.  It’s nothing of itself, but Juley’s foolish fondness called it witty.”

The arrival of the single sister of Mrs. Applebite, occasioned another rush of bodies and several gushes of tears; then titterings succeeded, and then a simultaneous burst of laughter, and a rapid exit.  Agamemnon looked round that room which he had furnished in his bachelorhood.  A thousand old associations sprung up in his mind, and a vague feeling of anticipated evil for a moment oppressed him.  The bijouterie seemed to reproach him with unkindness for having placed a mistress over them, and the easy chair heaved as though with suppressed emotion, at the thought that its luxurious proportions had lost their charms.  Collumpsion held a mental toss-up whether he repented of the change in his condition; and, as faithful historians, we are compelled to state that it was only the entrance, at that particular moment, of Juliana, that induced him to cry—­woman.

On the following day the knocker of No. 24 disturbed all the other numerals in Pleasant-terrace; and Mr. and Mrs. A. bowed and curtsied until they were tired, in acknowledgment of their friends’ “wishes of joy,” and, as one unlucky old gentleman expressed himself, “many happy returns of the day.”

It was a matter of surprise to many of the said friends, that so great an alteration as was perceptible in the happy pair, should have occurred in such a very short space of time.

“I used to think Mr. Applebite a very nice young man,” said Miss—­mind, Miss Scragbury—­“but, dear me, how he’s altered.”

“And Mrs. Applebite used to be a pretty girl,” rejoined her brother Julius; “but now (Juliana had refused him three times)—­but now she’s as ill-looking as her mother.”

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, September 12, 1841 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.