Englan’ heurs and rubs her ee,
Ha, ha, the viewin’ o’t! 
“Just as I had guessed,” quo’ she: 
Ha, ha, the viewin’ o’t! 
No so James.  He to the Judge
Cries, “John he ca’s my noketurns ‘fudge’: 
That’s a lee—­spoke in a grudge.” 
Ha, ha, the viewin’ o’t!

Ca’ up Michael!  Ca’ up Moore! 
Ha, ha, the viewin’ o’t! 
Bring up Wills—­he’s kenned before! 
Ha, ha, the viewin’ o’t! 
Midmay Michael’s ta’en his stan’,
Moore and Wills say Whistler’ gran’,
Nae better work done in this lan’: 
Ha, ha, the viewin’ o’t!

Now bring Jones—­let’s hear his min’: 
Ha, ha, the viewin’ o’t! 
Out spake he:  “Jim’s work’s rale fine,”
Ha, ha, the viewin’ o’t! 
“An’ were’t like Titian’s here or mine,
A’ this or that, I’d no decline
To say they’re rather like muneshine.” 
Ha, ha, the viewin’ o’t!

Run in Frith.  Says he:  “Dear me!”
Ha, ha, the viewin’ o’t! 
“For my pairt here’s nowt like me:” 
Ha, ha, the viewin’ o’t! 
“Nothing is like nature here. 
Where’s the detail roun’ an’ clear,
Such as in my work appear?”
Ha, ha, the viewin’ o’t!

How it cam let lawyers tell: 
Ha, ha, the provin’ o’t! 
Jury bodies luik fu’ swell: 
Ha, ha, the provin’ o’t! 
“John’s no right, yet Jim’s no wrang! 
Art’s made of nocht but peut an’ slang! 
Half a bawbee!  Hame let’s gang!”
Ha, ha, the provin’ o’t!

ONE HUNDRED & FIFTY COPIES OF THIS
BOOK HAVE BEEN PRINTED BY HAND
FOR THE RIGHT HONOURABLE
WALTER RUNCIMAN AT
THE TEMPLE SHEEN
PRESS MARCH
MCMXXII