on the civil list of almost every native prince in Upper India, from the emperor of Delhi downwards—­his principal moonshee, or native secretary, having thrown out intelligible hints, as though from his master, that such douceurs would not be without their use in securing his powerful interest at Calcutta—­the moonshee himself quietly pocketing the proceeds.  This was certainly an outrageous instance; but it is the direct interest of every native subordinate to screen his own misdeeds and extortions, by promoting to the utmost, in his European superior, that inaccessibility to which he is naturally but too much inclined—­and the extent to which this system of exclusion is carried, may be inferred from the following anecdote.  The colonel had been requested by a native landholder of high respectability, to introduce him to the house of a civilian; and on asking why he could not go by himself, was told, “I dare not approach the very compound of the house he lives in!  If his head man should hear that I ventured to present myself before the gentleman without his permission, he would immediately harass me by some false complaint, or even by instituting an enquiry into the very title-deeds of my estate, which might, however falsely, terminate in my ruin.  It is not long since I paid eleven hundred rupees to ——­ to suppress false claims, which, if they had actually gone into court, would have cost me ten times the sum.”

Of the practical effects of criminal punishments, the colonel does not speak more highly.  “In the real Hindoostanee view of the subject, a convict in chains is nearly a native gentleman—­a little roue, perhaps—­employed on especial duties in the Company’s service, for which he is well fed, and has little labour.  A jail-bird can easily be distinguished after the first six months, by his superior bodily condition.  On his head maybe seen either a kinkhab (brocade) or embroidered cap, or one of English flowered muslin, enriched with a border of gold or silver lace.  Gros de Naples is coming into fashion, but slowly....  Was he low-spirited, he could, for a trifling present, send to the bazar, and enjoy a nautah from the hour the judge went to sleep till daybreak next morning—­nay, under proper management, he might be gratified by the society of his wife and family....  See him at work, the burkandauze (policeman) is smoking his chillum, while he and his friends are sound asleep, sub tegmine fagi.  All of a sudden there is an alarm—­the judge is coming! up they all start, and work like devils for ten or fifteen seconds, and then again to repose.  This is working in chains on the roads!  In fact, after a man is once used to the comforts of an Indian prison, there’s no keeping him out!”

All this, no doubt, is broad caricature—­but “ridentem dicere verum quid vetat?” a motto which the colonel could not do better than adopt for any future edition of his eccentric lucubrations.  And so Rookhsut!  Colonel Sahib! may your favourite tomata sauce never pall upon your palate; and though perhaps you would hardly thank us for the usual oriental good wish, that your shadow may continue to increase, may it at least never be diminished by that worst of all fiends, indigestion!