“They fly to money-lenders’ lures,
    To speculative chances;
  Advancement they appear to lack. 
    And so they get advances.

  “This ‘Discipline of Clergy’ Bill
    On us is rather rough;
  Surely the bills our tradesmen bring
    Are discipline enough!

  “A fresh supply of Rectories
    Must really soon be found;
  All would be square, if once there were
    Sufficient to go round.

  “To get the Clergy out of their
    Pecuniary holes,
  The sole and only cure I see
    Would be—­a Cure of Souls!

  “’One man, one Vicarage!’—­the cry
    To stir a thoughtless nation;
  But just at present let us try
    Restricted Ordination!”

  “Free Trade in Curates!” shout our girls,
    Responsive from their pew;
  “You say there are too many, but
    We know there are too few!

  “Think of the budding Candidates
    For Orders, whom, no doubt,
  This limiting of out-put would
    Excessively put out!

  “If Curates now are destitute,
    A brighter future beacons;
  ’Tis only fair that all should share
    The stipends of Archdeacons!”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  HONORIS CAUSA.

[The University of Dublin has decided to confer the Degree of D.C.L. on Mr. HENRY IRVING.]

J.L.T. (to Dr. Irving).  “I SAY, HENRY,—­’SCUSE MY GLOVE,—­I’VE BEEN A DON MYSELF, DON’TCHERKNOW.  I CAN GIVE YOU A TIP OR TWO ABOUT PLAYING THE PART!”]

* * * * *

A GIFTED BEING.—­The Daily Telegraph of June 11, in giving us some news from Cambridge about the Mathematical Tripos, had this paragraph—­

“The Senior Wrangler, Mr. PHILIP HERBERT COWELL, son of Mr. H. COWELL, Privy Council Bar, was born in 1870, and was previously educated at Rev. E. St. JOHN PARRY’s School, Stoke, Slough.”

Now didn’t such a start in life as being educated “previously” to being “born,” give Mr. COWELL a somewhat unfair advantage over the other competitors?  Very few come into the world with such a chance.  “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them,” says SHAKSPEARE.  But to come into the world, like MINERVA, armed College-cap-a-pie, is, as Dominie Sampson would have said, “Pro-di-gi-ous!”

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

[Illustration:  “Francis George.”]

House of Commons, Monday, June 13.—­House filled up in marvellous style to-night.  Through all last week Benches nearly empty; the few Members present sunk in depths of depression.  To-night, scene changed; Benches crowded; buzz of conversation testified to ill-repressed excitement.  Mr. G., amongst others, back in his place.  “And looking uncommonly fit too,” says FRANCIS GEORGE, Viscount BARING; “not at all sure he won’t, after all, outlive Our JOE.  At any rate, he’s in fine condition for the little mill that’s coming off.”