The majority in Ireland desire Home Rule.

Therefore, it would be an outrage to the minority to give Legislative sanction to that desire.

[Illustration:  Going to the Country with a Cry.]

* * * * *

The influence of Women in politics must be elevating and refining.

That influence can be most effectively and legitimately exercised by and through possession of the Electoral Franchise.

Therefore it would unsex and degrade women to give them the Parliamentary vote.

* * * * *

It is useless to receive a deputation (say, upon Eight Hours’ Day legislation) unless you “mean business” in that matter.

I do not mean business in that matter—­at present.

Therefore I shall be delighted to receive the deputation.

* * * * *

Liberal Legislation is bad for the country.

The present Government has successfully accomplished more Liberal
Legislation than any of its predecessors.

Therefore the country should vote for the present Government.

* * * * *

The Gladstone Government of 1880 made many serious mistakes.

I was a leading Member of that Government.

Therefore you cannot go wrong in following me now.

* * * * *

Mr. C. made a slashing attack on Lord R., and addressed to him certain awkward questions and posing arguments to which he is bound to attempt an answer.

Lord R. made a dashing rejoinder to Mr. C., and devoted the whole of his speech to answering Mr. C.’s questions and arguments.

Therefore Lord R. showed bad taste and temper, and wasted his own time and the public’s.

* * * * *

I have altered my opinion of many men since 1885.

Many men have altered their opinion of me since that same date.

Therefore they are either fickle fools or idolatrous items.

* * * * *

I followed my Leader until 1881.

Some follow him still.

Therefore either they don’t know what they do, or don’t mean what they say.

* * * * *

If any logical-minded reader should object that these so-called syllogisms are not really syllogisms at all, we should agree with him.  But then they are not only the brief and formal expression of long-winded so-called arguments, which are not really arguments at all, but which, veiled in floods of verbiage, are duly presented to the public, from platform and Press, as though they really were so. Moral:—­The clear analysis of stump-oratory generally takes the form of a reductio ad absurdum.

* * * * *

MUTUAL ADVERTISEMENT BY THE COURT JESTER.—­At the Shaftesbury Theatre is announced A Play in Little.  At the Court they might announce a LITTLE in a Play. [N.B.—­For explanation see Cast under Clock.] Just now, very little in any play.