Tuesday.—­ELCHO’s speech to-day, in supporting WILFRID LAWSON’s Motion against Adjournment over Derby Day, most excellent fooling.  A dangerous thing to play practical jokes with House; only a person of ELCHO’s supreme coolness would have faced the fearful odds.  A desperate man having done so, might, by swerving however slightly to left or right, have made mistake, and been angrily dropped on by watchful House.  GRICE-HUTCHINSON had some experience of this in his truncated speech.  Commenced at length to be funny in usual ante-Derby Day fashion; beginning to draw picture of his leading WILFRID LAWSON by hand over Epsom Downs.  Members opposite snorted disapproval; GRICE-HUTCHINSON abruptly shut up; like the unfinished window in Aladdin’s Tower, his carefully-prepared joke unfinished must remain.  With this awful warning, ELCHO rose unperturbed and unabashed.  Was a success from first moment; SPEAKER artlessly contributed to it; GEDGE had something to say; been popping up whenever opening occurred; here again competing with ELCHO; which should be preferred?

“Does the noble Lord,” said SPEAKER, with bland sarcasm, “rise to second the Amendment?”

Now the Amendment was WILFRID LAWSON’s, and met with direct negative proposal to adjourn over Derby Day.  Last time question to the fore ELCHO had moved the Adjournment.  To suppose he was now going to back up WILFRID LAWSON in opposing it was an exquisite jape, worthy of the Chair.  But ELCHO capped it.  “Yes, Sir,” he gravely answered.

This was a flash of humour everyone could see.  The crowded House, wearied with what had gone before, positively jumped at it.  But it was a kind of joke that had to be lived up to.  Could ELCHO do it?  Would he spoil it by going too far, or would he shrink affrighted from the position audaciously assumed?  He did just the right thing, in tone, manner, and matter, affording the House the merriest moments ever enjoyed on a deathbed.  It seemed so good that it was idle to expect anything better to follow.  But something there was.  It was the Division, in which ELCHO, walking up to the Table by side of WILFRID LAWSON, acted as co-teller whilst the figures were announced that abolished the Derby Day holiday in the House of Commons.  ELCHO had had his jest, and the Opposition had his estate.

Business done.—­Motion for Derby Day negatived by 158 Votes against 144.

[Illustration:  “6 to 4.” (t. and o.)]

Wednesday.—­Spent quite cheerful Derby Day in Commons.  House met shortly after twelve; when I say House, I mean the SPEAKER and me.  “Dearly beloved TOBY,” said the SPEAKER, “it seems we’re to have the place to ourselves.”  But presently HOWELL arrived, and GEDGE, terribly afraid that he should miss prayers.  “I suppose my opportunities will not be extended.  Stockport doesn’t seem to care to have me in the new Parliament, and I’m not aware of any competition for my hand among other constituencies.  So I mean to make