Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, June 11, 1892 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 40 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, June 11, 1892.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, June 11, 1892 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 40 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, June 11, 1892.

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APPROPRIATE.—­At Nancy, the Maire pledged the Czech gymnasts, in a goblet of Pommery.  Their chief, returning thanks in French, with a strong Bohemian accent, remarked that he took this as a great compliment to his own nationality, the champagne being “tres Czech.”

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[Illustration:  TROP DE ZELE.

(An Aristocratic Tip.)

The New Companion (fresh from Girtham College).  “YES, LADY JANE, I SAW HER, WITH HER HABITUAL HYPOCRISY HOLDING OUT HER HAND TO HIS AS HE WAS HARANGUING AT HIS HOTEL—­”

Lady Jane. “GOOD GRACIOUS, CHILD, DON’T STICK IN YOUR H’S SO CAREFULLY AS ALL THAT!  PEOPLE WILL THINK YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER DROPPED ’EM, AND THAT YOU’RE TRYIN’ TO PICK ’EM UP!” [And People wouldn’t be very far wrong.]

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LADY GAY’S SELECTIONS.

DEAR MR. PUNCH,—­Of my two selections to supply the last Horse in the Derby—­one—­La Fleche, so far forgot what was due to my prophetic utterances as to finish second—­and indeed, very nearly win!  However, as such reprehensible conduct was mainly owing to the absurd wish of her jockey, BARRETT, to be first, my readers will see that no blame attaches to me—­as the mare would doubtless not have hurried so much had she been left to her own devices—­(the sex notoriously dislikes hurry)—­it being a well-known fact that she would make a race with a donkey!—­though why donkey races should be spoken of with such contempt.  I don’t know, for I once rode one with Lord ARTHUR on Hampstead Heath—­(it was during our engagement, when people will do foolish things; we had been “slumming,” and he was disguised in “pearlies,” whilst I was gowned “a la ’ARRIETT")—­and I assure you our Donkeys went very fast.  However—­this is a digression—­as the man said when he walked over the cliff, so let us “noch einmal zu unser schafen,” as the German proverb runs.  Although disappointed in the behaviour of La Fleche, my second string Llanthony maintained my reputation for correct tips, by running last, as I said he would!—­It is true that some papers report him as having finished seventh and El Diablo last; but as he did not win, he might just as well have been last as seventh—­and as I am sure my friend Lord ELTHAM will not mind the placings being reversed—­I therefore place Llanthony last—­and those of my readers who took my advice and backed him, will have every reason to congratulate themselves when they draw their money!

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Project Gutenberg
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, June 11, 1892 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.