[Illustration:  “Hair slowly uplifting.”]

Members looked on aghast.  ROWLANDS standing at the Bar, conscious of his hair slowly uplifting.  Belonged to the advanced guard himself; but this going little too far.  LUBBOCK, sitting near Citizen, strategically attempted to change the conversation.  “Did you ever,” he said, blandly, “notice how the queen bee, when she is—­”

“Oh, you bee ——­” said the Citizen, roughly shaking off the gentle Bee-master.

SAM SMITH shudderingly covered his face with his hands.  “I’m so afraid,” he whispered, “of the old A-dam coming out.”  And it did, Citizen GRAHAM himself immediately after going out, stopping at the Bar to shuffle through a few steps of the Carmagnole, and trumpet defiance on his blood-red handkerchief.

After this, a mere flash of lightning through the low clouds of a dull afternoon, ASQUITH went on with his speech, debate proceeded as if nothing had happened, and HALDANE’s Bill thrown out by 223 Votes against 148. Business done.—­Citizen GRAHAM suspended.

Friday.—­House met to-day as it did yesterday and day before to discuss Bills and Motions.  But all the talk really turns upon date of Dissolution, and what is likely to happen after a General Election.  SQUIRE OF MALWOOD serenely confident in the future.

“Yes,” I said to him to-night, “it must be a great comfort to you to reflect that when you come into office you will not have to beat about for a programme.  You’ve got your Newcastle platform, and I suppose a Liberal Ministry will stand upon that.”

“You remind me, dear TOBY,” said the Squire, with a far-away look, “of a story COLERIDGE brought home from his memorable visit to the United States.  On his way down to Chicago he went out on the platform of the car to breathe the air and look at the scenery.  ‘Come off that,’ said the Conductor, following him, ‘you can’t stand on the platform.’  ’My good man,’ said JOHN DUKE—­you know his silver voice and his bland manner—­’what is a platform for, if not to stand on?’ ‘Platforms,’ said the Conductor, sententiously, ’are not made to stand on, they are made to get in on.’”

Business done.—­Miscellaneous.

* * * * *

ON THE ROW AMONG THE ROMANCERS.

  Trust me, scribes who fight and jeer,
    From yon blue heavens above us bent,
  DICKENS and THACKERAY and SCOTT
    Smile at the grumbling Yankee gent.

  Howe’er it be, it seems to me
    A Novel needs but to be good;
  Romancer’s more than Realist,
    And True Love’s course than too much “Blood”!

* * * * *

TOO CONSCIENTIOUS.—­“As a protest against gambling in connection with Orme,” Mr. W. JOHNSTON, M.P., refused to attend a meeting at the Duke of WESTMINSTER’s “for the prevention of the demoralisation of the uncivilised heathen races.”  Does Mr. W.J. include the Derby among the “heathen races” in connection with Orme?