to ask me to kneel down and say, “Thy will be done!” “Kneel down—­just kneel down!” At length I did so, and while some one was praying, my tears began to flow, and I said the words, “Thy will be done!” Immediately the spell was broken and I was enabled to say from my heart, again and again, “Thy will be done!” After this I was conscious of a marvellous change in mind; rebellion was gone, and resignation had come in its place.  More than that, the dear face in the coffin seemed to lie smiling in peace, so calm and so lovely, that I felt I would not recall the spirit that was fled, even if it bad been possible.  There was wrought in me something more than submission, even a lifting-up of my will to the will of God; and withal, such a love towards Him that I wondered at myself.  God had been, as it were, a stranger to me before.  Now I felt as though I knew and loved Him, and could kiss His hand, though my tears flowed freely.

The funeral took place the same morning:  it was a time of great emotion; sorrow and joy met, and flowed together.  I thought of the dear one I had lost, but yet more of the God of love I had found; and to remember that she was with Him was an additional comfort to me.  The funeral service was soothing and elevating beyond expression; and yet, when it was all over, such a sense of desolation came upon me, that I felt utterly forlorn and truly sad.

My nest was now completely stirred up; but instead of bemoaning its broken state, I could see the eagle fluttering over her young ones (Deut. 32:1).  I was conscious that God was looking on, and that He had not forsaken me in this great wreck.

The strain and excitement I had undergone naturally brought on an illness.  I was seized with inflammation of the lungs, and was dangerously ill.  From this, and other complications which supervened, the doctor pronounced that I could not recover, and bade me prepare for eternity.

Judges and doctors, when they pass sentence of death, seem to regard religion as necessary preparation for it.  Too common, also, is this idea, even among those who do not belong to these respected professions.  My own opinion was much the same at that time.

Having received this solemn warning, I took down the Prayer-book, and religiously read over the office for the Visitation of the Sick.  I became so interested in this exercise, that I determined to read it three times a day.  The prayer for a sick child especially commended itself to my mind, so that, by changing a few words, I made it applicable to my own case, and used it not only three, but even seven, times a day.  In substance, it petitioned that I might be taken to heaven if I died; or that, if it should please God to restore my health, He would let me live to His glory.  I did not at that time expect my days would be prolonged, nor had I any wish to live, for the world was now perfectly blank and desolate to me.  I felt as if I could never be happy again; to be with God would be far better!