The guns can pound the villages and smash the trenches in,
  And the Hun is fain for home again when the T.M.B.’s begin,
  And the Vickers gun is a useful one to sweep a parapet,
  But the real work is the work that’s done with bomb and bayonet. 
  Load him down from heel to crown with tools and grub and kit,
  He’s always there where the fighting is—­he’s there unless he’s hit;
  Over the mud and the blasted earth he goes where the living can;
  He’s in at the death while he yet has breath, the British infantryman!

  Trudge and slip on the shell-hole’s lip, and fall in the clinging mire—­
  Steady in front, go steady!  Close up there!  Mind the wire! 
  Double behind where the pathways wind!  Jump clear of the ditch, jump
      clear! 
  Lost touch at the back?  Oh, halt in front! and duck when the shells come
      near! 
  Carrying parties all night long, all day in a muddy trench,
  With your feet in the wet and your head in the rain and the sodden
      khaki’s stench! 
  Then over the top in the morning, and onward all you can—­
  This is the work that wins the War, the work of the infantryman.

* * * * *

WHERE IS THE CENSOR?

    “A woman has been fined L10 for chipping lyddite out of a shell which
    had been over-filled by means of a screwdriver.”—­Evening Paper.

We protest against our newspapers being allowed to inform the enemy in this way of our methods of filling shells.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  A DEAD FROST.

PRESIDENT PYGMALION WILSON.  “THE DURNED THING WON’T COME TO LIFE!”]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “I SAY, SOMEONE’S STOLEN MY CAR!”

“DEAR ME!  IT WAS A NEW ONE, WASN’T IT?”

“YES.  BUT I DON’T MIND THE CAR; THERE WAS A TIN OF PETROL IN THE BACK.”]

* * * * *

OUR NEW ARMY OF WOMEN.

From Adjutant to O.C.  A Company.

Your return of trained Bombers not yet to hand.  Please expedite.

(Did you see O.C.  B Company’s hat at church parade last Sunday?  Isn’t it positively the outside edge?)

  ELIZABETH TUDOR JONES,
      Mrs. and Adjutant.

Second-Lieut.  Darling to Adjutant.

I should be obliged if I could have leave from next Tuesday, as otherwise I shall not be able to attend the sales, and my Sam Browne is quite the dowdiest in tho whole battalion.

  JOAN DARLING,
      Second-Lieut.

O.C.  Signallers to Quartermaster.

Lance-Corporal Flapper of this section has been charged for bottle, scent, one.  In view of the fact that this N.C.O. has not been supplied with bottle since joining this unit I take it that such will be a free issue.

  EMMA PIPP,
      Lieut.