Middlemarch eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,180 pages of information about Middlemarch.

Middlemarch eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,180 pages of information about Middlemarch.

“She bears it beyond anything,” said her mother when she was gone.

“Ah, thank God!” said Mr. Vincy, who was much broken down.

But Rosamond went home with a sense of justified repugnance towards her husband.  What had he really done—­how had he really acted?  She did not know.  Why had he not told her everything?  He did not speak to her on the subject, and of course she could not speak to him.  It came into her mind once that she would ask her father to let her go home again; but dwelling on that prospect made it seem utter dreariness to her:  a married woman gone back to live with her parents—­ life seemed to have no meaning for her in such a position:  she could not contemplate herself in it.

The next two days Lydgate observed a change in her, and believed that she had heard the bad news.  Would she speak to him about it, or would she go on forever in the silence which seemed to imply that she believed him guilty?  We must remember that he was in a morbid state of mind, in which almost all contact was pain.  Certainly Rosamond in this case had equal reason to complain of reserve and want of confidence on his part; but in the bitterness of his soul he excused himself;—­ was he not justified in shrinking from the task of telling her, since now she knew the truth she had no impulse to speak to him?  But a deeper-lying consciousness that he was in fault made him restless, and the silence between them became intolerable to him; it was as if they were both adrift on one piece of wreck and looked away from each other.

He thought, “I am a fool.  Haven’t I given up expecting anything?  I have married care, not help.”  And that evening he said—­

“Rosamond, have you heard anything that distresses you?”

“Yes,” she answered, laying down her work, which she had been carrying on with a languid semi-consciousness, most unlike her usual self.

“What have you heard?”

“Everything, I suppose.  Papa told me.”

“That people think me disgraced?”

“Yes,” said Rosamond, faintly, beginning to sew again automatically.

There was silence.  Lydgate thought, “If she has any trust in me—­ any notion of what I am, she ought to speak now and say that she does not believe I have deserved disgrace.”

But Rosamond on her side went on moving her fingers languidly.  Whatever was to be said on the subject she expected to come from Tertius.  What did she know?  And if he were innocent of any wrong, why did he not do something to clear himself?

This silence of hers brought a new rush of gall to that bitter mood in which Lydgate had been saying to himself that nobody believed in him—­even Farebrother had not come forward.  He had begun to question her with the intent that their conversation should disperse the chill fog which had gathered between them, but he felt his resolution checked by despairing resentment.  Even this trouble, like the rest,

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Project Gutenberg
Middlemarch from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.