Enver. I didn’t know your Majesty’s feelings were so strong on the subject.  Perhaps it will not, after all, be necessary.  I will see what can be done.

The Sultan. Yes, do, there’s a good fellow.  If I had to entertain that man for a week I should suffer from indigestion for the rest of my life.

Enver. If possible we will see that your Majesty is spared such an affliction.  With your Majesty’s leave I will now withdraw.

The Sultan. Do by all means.  No—­stop; you haven’t given me any of the War news.  I keep on asking for it, but nobody pays any attention to my requests.  Honestly, I don’t see much use in being a Sultan if one can’t get anyone to do what one asks.

Enver. Oh, you want to hear some War news, do you?  Well, I may as well tell you now as later.  Baghdad’s gone.

The Sultan. What—­captured?

Enver. Yes, the infernal English have got it.

The Sultan. I knew it was bound to happen.  I told you so only last Tuesday—­at least, if it wasn’t you it was somebody else.  “Baghdad,” I said, “is sure to be captured.  The English are in great force, and if we don’t watch it carefully they’re sure to snatch it from us.”  That’s what I said; but you wouldn’t have it.  You were all so cock-sure, and now where are you?

Enver. Who can fight against treachery?

The Sultan. Treachery?  It’s simply stupidity and incompetence.  You and your KAISER keep patting one another on the back, and then one fine morning you wake up and discover that Baghdad has fallen.  ENVER, you’ll find it rather difficult to explain this to the people.  They know my advice hasn’t counted for anything in this; they’ll put it all down to you; and you can’t murder them all, as you murdered poor old NAZIM.

Enver. Silence, or—­

The Sultan. Yes, I know, but I will not keep silence.  Rather, I will ask again, why have you sent my best regiments to help the Austrians and Germans on their own fronts?  Even I could have managed better than that.  And why are we fighting in this War at all?  Answer me that.

Enver. We fight for the greatness of Turkey.

The Sultan. Well, we don’t seem very successful.  It was a good deal bigger before we lost Erzerum and Baghdad...

(Left wrangling.)

* * * * *

Conscience-Money?

    “The Commissioners of Inland Revenue acknowledge the receipt of first
    half of L100 note from ‘Berlin.’”—­Daily Paper.

* * * * *

“Half-a-dozen deer escaped from Hatfield Park some weeks ago through a gate having been carelessly left open.  A wholesale clearance of vegetables followed in the district, and the damage was so serious that, with the Marquis of Salisbury’s approval, shooting parties of farmers went out, and the raiders have now been run to earth.”—­Manchester Paper.

It looks as if they were only rabbits, after all.