Now, none but a half madman like Grim would have gravely made such a demand, or exposed himself to such a rebuff as it deserved.  Jacko looked at him quizzically.

“Hem!” she answered, demurely.  “I’m sure I’m so awestricken, your worship, that I can scarcely find the use of my tongue to obey your reverence.  I hope your excellency won’t be offended with me.  But I was wondering in general, whether the Lord really did make all the people upon earth, and in particular, whether He made you, and if so, for what inscrutable reason He did it.”

“You are an impertinent minion.  But, by the saints, I will have an answer to my question, and know what you were thinking of while gazing in that mirror.”

“Sorry the first explanation didn’t please your eminence.  But now, ‘honor bright!’ I’ll tell you truly what I was thinking of.  I was thinking—­thinking how excessively pretty I am.  Now, tell the truth, and shame the old gentleman.  Did you ever, in all your life, see such a beautiful, bewitching, tantalizing, ensnaring face as mine is?”

“I think I never saw such a fool!”

“Really?  Then your holiness never looked at yourself in a mirror! never beheld ‘your natural face in a glass!’ never saw ‘what manner of man’ you are.”

“By St. Peter!  I will not be insulted, and dishonored, and defied in this outrageous manner.  I swear I will have your thoughts, if I have to pluck them from your heart.”

“Whe-ew!  Well, if I didn’t always think thought was free, may I never be an interesting young widow, and captivate Thurston Willcoxen.”

“You impudent, audacious, abandoned—­”

“Ching a ring a ring chum choo!  And a hio ring tum larky!”

sang the elf, dancing about, seizing the bellows and flourishing it over her head like a tambourine, as she danced.

“Be still, you termagant.  Be still, you lunatic, or I’ll have you put in a strait-jacket!” cried the exasperated professor.

“Poor fellow!” said Jacko, dropping the bellows and sidling up to him in a wheedling, mock-sympathetic manner.  “P-o-o-r f-e-l-l-o-w! don’t get excited and go into the highstrikes.  You can’t help it if you’re ugly and repulsive as Time in the Primer, any more than Thurston Willcoxen can help being handsome and attractive as Magnus Apollo.”

“It was of him, then, you were thinking, minion?  I knew it!  I knew it!” exclaimed the professor, starting up, throwing down his book, and pacing the floor.

“Bear it like a man!” said Jacko, with solemnity.

“You admit it, then.  You—­you—­you—­”

“‘Unprincipled female.’  There!  I have helped you to the words.  And now, if you will be melo-dramatic, you should grip up your hair with both hands, and stride up and down the floor and vociferate, ’Confusion! distraction! perdition! or any other awful words you can think of.  That’s the way they do it in the plays.”

“Madam, your impertinence is growing beyond sufferance.  I cannot endure it.”