“Going home,” I repeated, and noticing that he seemed feeble, offered him the support of my arm.  “I will walk as far as your residence.”

“You are very good,” he replied, “but I am afraid that I cannot ask you to come in.”

“Never mind that; but where do you live?”

“Where should I live after a lawsuit?” he returned, with a short laugh.  “Why, in the Workhouse, to be sure—­in the Workhouse!”

And as a ratepayer, I have assisted to support him ever since!

* * * * *

A MENU FROM BIRMINGHAM.

POTAGES.

Duchesse.  Consomme de Deluge a l’Apres Moi.

POISSONS.

Hors d’Eau a l’Appat convenable.  Crevettes a l’Envie.

ENTREES.

Petits Programmes a la Robe de Joseph.  Filets de Vis, Sauce Monopole. 
Pattes de Matou aux Griffes.

ROTS.

Moi Meme.  Dinde Fidele de Jesse.

LEGUMES.

Orchis en Boutonniere.  Hartijo Sauce Soumission.

RELEVES.

Monocle.  Salmi de Paires Filants aux Lis.

ENTREMETS.

Gateau Rossendale.  Conserves d’Eglise Galloise.  Boudin de Labouchere a la Lanterne.

DESSERT.

Bonbons de Famille.  Hamecons de Flatterie.  Oublis.

* * * * *

IN STATU,—­QUO?

Should CROMWELL have a statue at Westminster was a burning question some years ago.  We all know the result, and nowadays, who cares?  At present, the question at Oxford is, Shall Cardinal NEWMAN have a statue? and, if so, Shall it be just opposite the Martyrs’ Memorial?  From one point of view, the situation is happily selected, as, of course, NEWMAN was on just exactly opposite ground to CRANMER, RIDLEY, and LATIMER.  The Oxford Dons are right in supposing that no statue can be erected without a previous design; a design by a hand that has not lost its cunning.  The proposed site is in Broad Street, a very suggestive name as opposed to narrowness of any sort; yet so eager are the illogical Dons in the matter of preservation of spaces, that before even the base of a clay model has been commenced, they have already prepared the ground for the reception of the statue by getting up any amount of railing about the proposed site!

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “WAKING-UP” FOR THE OPENING OF THE SESSION.]

* * * * *

LETTERS TO ABSTRACTIONS.

NO.  X.—­TO CROOKEDNESS.

OBLIQUE, BUT FORMIDABLE ONE,

You have frequently fixed your abode in high places.  Are there not recorded in history the names of kings and statesmen whom an irresistible desire to scheme, and trick, and overreach, has brought to the block?  The times were difficult—­that much one may admit.  Noble heads of honourable and upright men were lopped in profusion; and it may be argued, with some show of reason, that the man whose character