* * * * *

MRS. RAM ON CURRENT POLITICS.—­“Politics,” says Mrs. RAMSBOTHAM, “is one of the few things I know nothing about.  But it does seem to me that Lord GRANDOLPH CHURCHILL is a white elephant tied round the neck of Lord SALISBURY.”

* * * * *

“HEAVENS!”—­Recently in the Athenaeum, and copied elsewhere, appeared the most interesting intelligence that has been received on earth for some time.  “The small planet No. 315”—­no further address is given, an omission which will, no doubt, be rectified in the next issue—­“which was discovered at Nice by M. CHARLOIS on the 4th September, 1891,”—­the small planet, of course, not being out of the nurse’s arms, was not responsible for being at Nice at an unfashionable time, but this, of course, is the fault of her parents and guardians—­“has been named Constantia.”  Rather late to delay the christening for nearly five months.  Of course, the brilliant infant will not stay at Nice, except by medical advice, but will probably return to No. 315, Milky Way (or elsewhere), on the first opportunity. Sic itur ad astra!

* * * * *

“A STUDENT OF HISTORY” writes to us:—­“Sir—­I have been reading a great deal lately on ecclesiastical subjects, and shall be very much obliged if you will explain to me briefly what ‘Inclosed Orders’ are.” [If “A STUDENT” will send us, under cover to our office, two P.O.  Orders for two pounds ten shillings each respectively, further explanation than that conveyed by our receipt for the same will be unnecessary.—­ED.]

* * * * *

A RIDDLE.

  I’m underneath your feet
  In the streets of London Town,
    From town take “t,”
    Then give it to me,
  And you’ll sell me for a crown.

* * * * *

MRS. R. AND THE PREVAILING EPIDEMIC.—­Our excellent friend is now convalescent.  “Like CAESAR or CAESAR’s wife, I forget which it was,” she says, “I have passed the Barbican!” Some one having suggested that probably she meant “the Rubicon,” Mrs. R. thanked him politely, but added, that she perfectly well knew what she was talking about, and that everyone who was acquainted with history would understand her classical delusion.

* * * * *

PUZZLER FOR A COSTUMIER.—­A Gentleman going to a Fancy Dress Ball wants to know how he can make up for Lost Time?

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NAMES for the next pair of Tailed Monkeys sent to the Zoo—­“Mr. and Mrs. CAUDAL.”

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N.B.—­“Confessions of a Duffer,” No.  IV., next week.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  SHOWING THAT SOMETIMES IT IS GOOD FOR A COBBLER NOT TO STICK TO HIS LAST.

Fair Matron. “I REMEMBER YOUR ACTING ‘SIR ANTHONY,’ YEARS AGO, WHEN I WAS A GIRL, SIR CHARLES!  YOU DID IT SPLENDIDLY!”