O brethren, shall we check ’em,
  These brave suburban stalwarts whose home is in the waste
  Afar from Pall Mall portals, swell Clubs, and homes of taste,
  But who have Votes, my brethren?  Nay, shout ye men of pith,
  And strike for pining Poplar and hapless Hammersmith!”
  “Quite so!” cries ’cute MUNDELLA, the corvine chief and conky,
  “But he who maketh too much noise may show himself a donkey. 
  The Capital seems quiet, Sir, the garrison is still,
  Suppose we try that old Gaul game!” HARCURTIUS cries, “I will!”
  Then silently and slowly, and all in single file,
  They climb towards the Citadel.  HARCURTIUS, with a smile,
  Hath his head o’er the ramparts, when—­Great CAESAR, what is this? 
  They’re greeted with one loud, prolonged, and universal hiss! 
  The sudden sibilation out of silence startles all,
  HARCURTIUS clangs his buckler, OTTO nearly hath a fall,
  “Great gods, the Geese are on us, those confounded Sacred Geese,
  See their long necks, twig their broad beaks!  Cease, senile
          cacklers, cease!”

  So gaspeth great HARCURTIUS, but gaspeth all in vain. 
  The gaff is blown, the anserine guard gives tongue with might and main. 
  A stir, a tramp of mailed feet, a torch-flare!  Whillaloo! 
  “Say, is this MARCUS MANLIUS?  No, hang it, there be two,
  SALISBURIUS and GOSCHENIUS, with a host, no doubt, behind,
   They’re on their guard, whate’er may chance, we shall not ’catch
          ’em blind’
  Like gudgeon.  No! there’s not a chance of a surprise by night;
  If the Gauls take the Citadel, ye gods, they’ll have to fight!”
  How history repeats itself!  At least we must agree,
  The Geese have roused the Capital?  And saved it?  We shall see!

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE ATTACK ON THE “CAPITAL.”]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  SO ARTLESS!

SCENE—­A Cinderella Dance.

Swell (to ingenuous Maiden).  “ARE YOU ENGAGED?”

Ingenuous Maiden. “NO—­BUT—­I SHOULD SO LIKE TO BE!”

[And, as the old game has it, the consequences were ——!]

* * * * *

“COME HITHER, HUBERT!”

We are able to present our readers with a few notes of a lecture to be given by Professor HUBERT HERKOMER, R.A. (by the kind permission of AUTHOR PINERO, Esq.), to all managers, actors, actresses, scene-painters, authors, composers, musicians, costumiers, and wig-makers who will honour him with their attention.  On this occasion the Professor will (among other things) explain, by the aid of a Magic Lantern (an entirely new invention recently discovered by Professor H.H.) how to enlighten the stage darkness generally.  The Professor will also combat the erroneous impression derived from the dark ages of SHAKSPEARE’s time, that the Moon,