In selecting associates, studiously avoid those who are low, coarse, and vulgar in their behavior and manners.  Rudeness and vulgarity are unbecoming any age.  But they are especially offensive and indecorous in youth.  The young man, or young woman, who has not sufficient self-respect and pride of character to deport themselves with modesty, circumspection, and politeness, is unfitted to be an associate.  A bold, brazen, forward demeanor, indicates a heart far from possessing those delicate and amiable traits, which are alone worthy of imitation.  Vulgarity in language or demeanor, indicates a vitiated heart.  Cultivation and refinement of manners are, to a good degree, evidence of a pure spirit, and high and honorable feelings.

The youth who is truly polite, has a great advantage, in every respect, over those who are deficient in this desirable qualification.  Many, however, entertain very erroneous views of the nature of politeness.  It does not consist in putting on an air, a simper, a strut, or a bow.  Neither is it to be manifested in high-flown words, or a fashionable pronunciation.  Many young persons who can make very accomplished bows, and go through all the postures and attitudes of the schools, are still ignorant of the first principles of genuine politeness, and violate them every day.  Politeness is not to be learned of the dancing-master, the fop, or the belle.  Do you inquire where it can be obtained?  I answer, in the gospel of our Saviour.  True-hearted Christians are always polite.  They cannot be otherwise, while influenced by the Christian spirit.  For the first great principle of true politeness is found in the Saviour’s golden rule—­“All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.”  Treat others as you wish to be treated yourself, and you cannot fail of being polite.  Treat them as you wish not to be treated, and you are ill-bred and vulgar, though you may be dressed in the extreme of fashion, and steeped in Cologne!  Politeness, in its true acceptation, is but another word for kindness.  The truly polite man and woman, are not haughty, nor exclusive—­they are not starched, nor supercilious.  They show their politeness in being respectful to the feelings of persons of every rank, condition, and complexion.  They treat all kindly and gently; and seek to make those in their presence to feel easy and happy.  The whole secret of politeness may be summed up in a single sentence—­Make yourselves agreeable and pleasant to whomsoever you meet.  With this intent, your manners will be easy and natural; and you will be polite in every true sense of the word, though brought up in the centre of the wilderness.

In selecting those they would imitate in regard to politeness, the young should not choose the starched fop, the gaudily-dressed dandy, who may owe all their attractions to the unpaid tailor—­nor the fashionable belle, who sneers upon everything plain and useful.  They, more than all others, violate the first principles of politeness in their demeanor.  But select the plain-dressed, the modest, the affable, the kind and friendly at heart.  In these you find the true lady—­the genuine gentleman.