Judges and juries at loggerheads quite! 
  Really each day brings some curious revealing,
    Putting you, Ma’am, in a very strange light. 
  Take my advice, Ma’am, this bright New Year’s morning,
    Give a look up to your agents all round;
  To some give the sack, and to others a warning;
  The Public will back up your move, I’ll be bound!

* * * * *

GREEK MEETS GREEK.—­“What!” exclaimed an indignant scholar, who had not peeped into a Classic for some forty years, “no more compulsory Greek at our Universities!  What are we coming to?  All I can say is, ’Absit omen’!” “’Scuse me!” replied his friend, who was all for the new learning, “but I should say, ’Absit Homer’!”

* * * * *

SEASONABLE (AND SUITABLE) GOOD WISHES.

To a Card-player          A Nappy     }
To a Smart Girl           A “Snappy”  }
To a Flirt                A “Chappy”  }
To an Old Maid            A Cappy     }
To an Infant              A Pappy     }
To a Pigeon-shot          A Trappy    }
To an Explorer            A Mappy     } New Year to you! 
To a Student              A Sappy     }
To a Cross Child          A Slappy    }
To an aspiring Pugilist   A “Scrappy” }
To a Spiritualist         A Tappy     }
To a Toper                A “Lappy”   }
To Toby                 A Yappy     }
To a Snuff-taker          A Rappee    }

* * * * *

GIFTS FOR THE NEW YEAR.

H-r M-j-sty.—­The hearty congratulations of a loyal and united people.

The Pr-nce and Pr-nc-ss.—­The most welcome of daughters-in-law.

Prince Alb-rt V-ct-r.—­MAY in February.

The Rest of the R-y-l F-m-ly.—­The best of wishes from everybody.

L-rd S-l-sb-ry.—­A General Election.

Mr. Arth-r B-lf-r.—­A Translation from the Irish.

Mr. J. Ch-mb-rl-n.—­Promotion.

Sir W-ll-m H-rc-rt.—­A Vision of the Woolsack.

The Cz-r of R-ss-a.—­A Vision of another sort of Sack.

The G-rm-n Emp-r-r.  New toys personally selected.

President C-rn-t.—­The compliments of the Marquis of DUFFERIN.

Herr Ibs-n.—­A tale without a plot.

Mr. R-dy-rd K-pl-ng.—­Quite another story.

The Corporation of L-v-rp-l.—­The Freedom of the Grand Old Man.

The Gr-nd Old M-n.—­The loss of the Corporation of Liverpool.

And Mr. P-nch.—­Tons of material (voluntarily contributed) for the Grand Old Waste Paper Basket.

* * * * *

BOS V. BOSS.

[Illustration:  Bos Locutus Est!]

    [One of the Delegates at the Conference on Rural Reforms said,
    “We do not want to be bossed by the Parsons”; another, “We
    don’t want soup or blankets, but fair play.”]