1st Lady.  How charmingly he tells a story.

2nd Lady.  But how distressing!

Mr. H.  Lord Squandercounsel, who is my particular friend, was pleased to rally me in his inimitable way upon it next day.  I shall never forget a sensible thing he said on the occasion—­speaking of absence of mind, my foible—­says he, my dear Hogs—­

Several Ladies.  Hogs—­what—­ha—­

Mr. H.  My dear Hogsflesh—­my name—­(here a universal scream)—­O my cursed unfortunate tongue!  H. I mean—­where was I?

1st Lady.  Filthy—­abominable!

2nd Lady.  Unutterable!

3rd Lady.  Hogs—­foh!

4th Lady.  Disgusting!

5th Lady.  Vile!

6th Lady.  Shocking!

1st Lady.  Odious!

2nd Lady.  Hogs—­pah!

3rd Lady.  A smelling-bottle—­look to Miss Melesinda.  Poor thing! it is no wonder.  You had better keep off from her, Mr. Hogsflesh, and not be pressing about her in her circumstances.

1st Gent.  Good time of day to you, Mr.Hogsflesh.

2nd Gent.  The compliments of the season to you, Mr. Hogsflesh.

Mr.H.  This is too much—­flesh and blood cannot endure it.

1st Gent.  What flesh?—­hog’s-flesh?

2nd Gent.  How he sets up his bristles!

Mr. H.  Bristles!

1_st Gent_.  He looks as fierce as a hog in armor.

Mr. H.  A hog!—­Madam!—­(here he severally accosts the Ladies, who by turns repel him.)

1_st Lady_.  Extremely obliged to you for your attentions; but don’t want a partner.

2_d Lady_.  Greatly flattered by your preference:  but believe I shall remain single.

3_d Lady_.  Shall always acknowledge your politeness; but have no thoughts of altering my condition.

4_th Lady_.  Always be happy to respect you as a friend; but you must not look for anything further.

5_th Lady_.  No doubt of your ability to make any woman happy; but have no thoughts of changing my name.

6_th Lady_.  Must tell you, Sir, that if, by your insinuations, you think to prevail with me, you have got the wrong sow by the ear.  Does he think any lady would go to pig with him?

Old Lady.  Must beg you to be less particular in your addresses to me.  Does he take me for a Jew, to long after forbidden meats?

Mr. H.  I shall go mad!—­to be refused by old Mother Damnable—­she that’s so old, nobody knows whether she was ever manned or no, but passes for a maid by courtesy; her juvenile exploits being beyond the farthest stretch of tradition!—­Old Mother Damnable!

[Exeunt all, either pitying or seeming to avoid him.

SCENE.—­The Street.

BELVIL and another Gentleman.