[Footnote 1:  MACAULAY’s Armada.]

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[Illustration:  NATURAL HISTORY.

“OH, LOOK, MUMMIE!  NOW IT’S LEFT OFF RAINING, HE’S COME OUT OF HIS KENNEL!”]

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ALL BERRY WELL.

SIR,—­As there is so much talk just now about the best way in which to make Coffee, I will mention the plan I adopt, in the hope that some of your readers may imitate it in their own homes.  It is very simple.  You take some of the excellent “Coffee Mixture,” sold by the “Arabo-Egyptian Pure Parisian Berry Company, Limited,” at sixpence the pound.  You need not give more than one tea-spoon to every four persons, as the coffee is very good and thick.  Add condensed milk, and fill with water, after which, let the pot stand on the hob an hour before use.  You would be surprised at the quality of the fluid which results.  It gives general satisfaction in my own circle.  My nephew, who lives with me, declares that it is the only genuine coffee he has drunk since he returned from the East.  He usually, however, has his breakfast out.  My General Servant says that “she prefers it to beer” (though she takes both), and has asked me for some to send to an Aunt of hers with whom she has quarrelled.  I think this very nice and forgiving of her, and have allowed her a quarter of a pound for that purpose.  My son-in-law, who unfortunately is rather addicted to drink, says it is “the finest tap he ever tasted,” and adds that if he could be sure of always having such Coffee, he would join the Blue Ribbon Army at once.  Hitherto he has not joined.

  Yours humbly,
  MARTHA HUSWIFE.

SIR,—­At my “Home for Elderly Orphans of Defective Brain Power,” I give an excellent Coffee, made of five parts chicory, and one of Mocha, supplied at a cheap rate by a House in the City, which owes me money, and is paying it off in this way, with skim-milk added, in moderation, and no sugar.  None of the orphans has ever complained of my Coffee.  I should like to catch them doing so.  It is nonsense to say the art of coffee-making is unknown in England.

  Yours, indignantly,
  CLEOPATRA JONES.

SIR,—­Here is the recipe for Coffee which we use at this Buffet:—­

“Place one pound of the ’Nonpareil Turkish Pasha’s Special Brand Extract of finest Mocha’ in the urn in the morning.  Pour on boiling water to half-way up.  Let it stew all day.  Draw off as wanted, and dilute with ‘Anglo-African Condensed Cows’ Milk.’”

Strange to say, we do not find great demand either for Coffee or Tea (made on similar principles); but it is as well that the Public should know that we have both in constant readiness, and of first-class quality.  The traveller who has drunk a cup of this Coffee in conjunction with one of our celebrated Home-made Pork Pies, does not require anything else till the end of the very longest journey, and, probably, not even then.