More than that, she assures me (although I don’t doubt it)
    That D., though apparently sober and staid,
  Is a flirt, and that people are talking about it
    Indignantly here.  And it’s true, I’m afraid;
  For I heard Mrs. PARSONS, the wife of the Vicar,
    Inform Countess C. (who’s forgiven, you know)
  That each day she appears to get thicker and thicker
    With N., though engaged to be married to O.

  MAUD has written to mother, and said in her letter
    (Marked “private “) that T., who has taken to drink,
  And been sent to a sort of a home, is no better,
    And quenches his thirst, when he can, with the ink. 
  And the Dowager Duchess of M. (the old sinner!)
    Has dropped all the money she had backing gees;
  While the Colonel, who’s said to have spotted the winner,
    Owns most of the horses that lost, if you please!

  But dear MAUD is the one for the news that’s exciting. 
    You’ve wasted your paper in sending to me. 
  I would just as soon think, love, of flying as writing
    One word of the scandal of afternoon tea. 
  Give my love to your mother, and kisses to DORA—­
    (She’s doing the season with you, I presume?)
  And believe me your ever affectionate, FLORA.

    P.S.  Mrs. K. has eloped with her groom!

Scandal Hall, Torking.

* * * * *

ONLY FANCY!

We find the following paragraph in a contemporary:—­

    A meeting on the Somersetshire floods has been summoned by the
    Earl of CORK, Lord-Lieutenant of the County, for to-morrow, at
    Bridgewater.

We are bound to observe that this arrangement displays a lamentable lack of consideration for others on the part of the noble convener.  It is all very well for the Earl of CORK to select the Somersetshire floods for a place of meeting.  But whilst CORK is bobbing up and down, buoyantly enjoying himself, what is to become of ordinary persons foregathered in such circumstances?  We presume that boats, or at least life-belts, will be provided for the movers and seconders of the various resolutions.  Or does Bridgewater cover everything?

* * * * *

Walking down St. James’ Street the other day, whom should we meet but the Earl of PORTSMOUTH, long known in the House of Commons as Lord LYMINGTON.  Opportunity was taken to inquire whether a recent event in South Molton had led to any estrangement between his Lordship and his former constituents.

“No, TOBY,” said the belted Earl; “I think I may say, that, between me and my old constituents, the wing of friendship has not Molton a feather.”

* * * * *

In the foregoing paragraph, the phrase “belted Earl,” is used advisedly.  At the period of which Sir WALTER SCOTT wrote (vide any of his novels) it will be found that members of this rank of the Peerage are all spoken of as belted.  For some time the fashion fell out of use.  The belt was appropriately revived by the late Earl of BEACONSFIELD, and is now quite a common thing with the aristocracy.  The Earl of SELBORNE is very particular about the fit and cut of his.