You eagerly buy them, the “Prizes” to seek
  (You “blued” two-and-tenpence, my babie, last week),
  Those “Lucky Sweets,” babie, are babydom’s “play.” 
  But as for the sweets, why you chuck them away! 
    Oh, two to one bar one, &c.

  Oh, princes may “punt,” babie; nobles may “plunge,”
  But, babie, that chubby fist’s cynical lunge
  Means craving for nothing that babyhood eats: 
  No, babie, you’d fain do a “flutter” in sweets. 
    Oh, two to one bar one, &c.

  The tuck-shops, my babie, are well up to date;
  They know Speculation now rules the whole State;
  It sways all the classes, all ages, each sex;
  So now we’re provided with “Nursery Specs.” 
    Oh, two to one bar one, &c.

  Shall Court, Camp and Counter all yield to the spell
  And Cradledom not be considered as well? 
  Shall betting fire Oxford, and gambling witch Girton,
  And Infancy not put its own little shirt on? 
    Oh, two to one, bar one, &c.

  Oh, hush thee, my babie! the time will soon come
  When at Baccarat boards you’ll sit sucking your thumb. 
  Meanwhile “Lucky Sweets,” babie, buy while you may,
  They will teach simple childhood the charms of high play. 
    Oh, two to one, bar one!  Heigh! dance, babie, dance! 
    Oh, tiddley-um, diddley-um, back the off-chance!

[Footnote 1:  In the Stock Exchange sense, of course.]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  A DOMESTIC DIAGNOSIS.

Jones (who has come with his Wife to call on the new Neighbours).  “WONDER IF THEY’VE BEEN MARRIED LONG, HYPATIA?”

Mrs. Jones. “OH NO.  EVIDENTLY NEWLY-MARRIED.”

Jones. “HOW CAN YOU TELL?”

Mrs. Jones. “DRAWING-ROOM SMELLS OF TOBACCO-SMOKE!”]

* * * * *

THE IDLE AND THE INDUSTRIOUS APPRENTICE.

(AN OLD-FASHIONED APOLOGUE WITH A MODERN APPLICATION.)

GRANDOLH and ARTHUR were two young Apprentices, bound betimes to the ingenious and estimable Art or Craft of Cabinet-Making.  Both of them were youths of a Sprightly Genius, and of an Alert Apprehension, attended, in the case of GRANDOLPH, with a mighty heat and ebullition of Fancy, which led early to a certain frothiness or ventosity in speech.  ARTHUR, on the other hand, though possessed of excellent Parts, appeared to be of a more phlegmatic temperament, and took on a more languorous, not to say saturnine demeanour.

So it came about that for the time GRANDOLPH seemed to carry it over his fellow Apprentice, who indeed, amongst superficial observers, incurred the reproach of indolence and lackadaisical indifference, and although both were of creditable repute in the Craft, yet did GRANDOLPH shine the more prominently and give the greater promise of pre-eminence, ARTHUR seeming content, as men say, to play second fiddle to the more pushing Performer.