on the ground in a frenzy, which she believed was affected
to conceal the coldness and malignity of his heart,—an
affectation which at that time never failed to meet
with the tenderest commiseration. I could find
by some implications, not followed up by me, lest she
might have condemned herself afterwards for her involuntary
disclosures, that he soon attempted to corrupt her
principles, both with respect to her own conduct and
her latitude for his. She saw the precipice on
which she stood, and kept his sister with her as much
as possible. He returned in the evenings from
the haunts of vice, where he made her understand he
had been, with manners so profligate! “O
the wretch!” said I. “And had he
no moments of remorse?” “Sometimes he
appeared to have them. One night, coming home
from one of his lawless parties, he saw me so indignantly
collected, and bearing all with such a determined calmness,
that a rush of remorse seemed to come over him.
He called himself a monster, though his sister was
present, and threw himself in agony at my feet.
I could not—no—I could not
forgive him such injuries. He had lost me for
ever! Astonished at the return of virtue, my
tears, I believe, flowed over his face, and I said,
’Byron, all is forgotten: never, never shall
you hear of it more!’ He started up, and, folding
his arms while he looked at me, burst into laughter.
‘What do you mean?’ said I. ’Only
a philosophical experiment; that’s all,’
said he. ’I wished to ascertain the value
of your resolutions.’” I need not say
more of this prince of duplicity, except that varied
were his methods of rendering her wretched, even to
the last. When her lovely little child was born,
and it was laid beside its mother on the bed, and
he was informed he might see his daughter, after gazing
at it with an exulting smile, this was the ejaculation
that broke from him: “Oh, what an implement
of torture have I acquired in you!” Such he
rendered it by his eyes and manner, keeping her in
a perpetual alarm for its safety when in his presence.
All this reads madder than I believe he was:
but she had not then made up her mind to disbelieve
his pretended insanity, and conceived it best to intrust
her secret with the excellent Dr. Baillie; telling
him all that seemed to regard the state of her husband’s
mind, and letting his advice regulate her conduct.
Baillie doubted of his derangement; but, as he did
not reckon his own opinion infallible, he wished her
to take precautions as if her husband were so.
He recommended her going to the country, but to give
him no suspicion of her intentions of remaining there,
and, for a short time, to show no coldness in her
letters, till she could better ascertain his state.
She went, regretting, as she told me, to wear any
semblance but the truth. A short time disclosed
the story to the world. He acted the part of
a man driven to despair by her inflexible resentment
and by the arts of a governess (once a servant in the