Dolph.  Well, you see, your ’air’s so natural it would deceive any machine! [Movement on part of Aunt MARIA.

Lottie.  Put in for ’ECTOR next, DOLPH, do.  I want to hear what it says about him.

Dolph.  They don’t keep his colour in stock—­afraid o’ losing their insurance policy.  “Red or orbun’s” the nearest they can get to it. (He puts in a penny in the “Red” slot.) Here’s old ’ECTOR. (Reads.) “The Gentleman with long red hair is of a restless disposition, constantly roving.”  Keep your eye on him, LOTTIE!  “Impatient and fiery in temper”—­’Old ’im, two of yer?—­“but for all that, is kind and loving.”  You needn’t ’old him—­it’s all right.  “He is passionately fond of the fair sex.”  What all of ’em, ’ECTOR?  I’m ashamed of yer!  “He is inclined to timidity”—­Oo’d ha’ thought it?—­“but by reflection may correct it and pass for a man of courage.”  You start reflecting at once, old chap!

’Ector (ominously, to LOTTIE).  If DOLPH don’t mind what he’s about, he’ll go too far some day!

    [He breathes hard, then thinks better of it.

Dolph.  Now it’s CARRIE’s turn.  “Leave you out?” Couldn’t think of it.  Brown ’air, CARRIE’s is. (He puts in a penny.) “A Lady with ’air of a medium brown colour, long and smooth”—­Is your ’air long though, CARRIE?

Carrie (with pride).  I should hope so—­I can set on it.

Dolph.  That’s nothing!  So can Aunt MARIA set on hers! (With a glance at that Lady’s very candid “front.") Can’t you, Auntie, eh?  If you make a effort?

Aunt Maria (with dignity).  I’ll thank you to ’ave the goodness to drop your sauce, Mr. ADOLPHUS GAGGS; it’s out of place and not appreciated, I can assure you! [She walks away.

Dolph. (surprised).  Why, there’s Aunt MARIA got the ’ump—­for a little thing like that!  Let me finish with CARRIE. (Reads.) “She is of an intellectual turn of mind.” ("’Ear, ’ear!” from FREDDY.) “Very fond of reading.”  Takes in Sloper’s ’Alf ’Oliday regular!  “Steadfast in her engagements.”  ’Ullo, CARRIE!

Carrie (firing up).  Well, have you anything to say against that?  You’d better take care, Mr. GAGGS!

Dolph.  I was only thinking.  Sure you haven’t been squaring this machine?  Ah, it tells you some ’ome truths here—­“Although inquisitive and fond of prying into the secrets of others—­” Now however did it know that?

Carrie.  It isn’t there—­you’re making it up!

    [She snatches the card, reads it, and tears it up.

Dolph.  Temper—­temper!  Never mind.  Now we’ll try FREDDY.  What’s his shade of ’air?  I should say about the colour of spoilt ’ay, if I was asked.

Carrie (with temper).  You’re not asked, so you needn’t give your opinion!