Pe. Is there no News come from our Country?  Have you had any News from our Countrymen?  What News?  Do you bring any News?  Is there any News come to Town?  Is there any News abroad from our Country?

The Answer.

Ch. There is much News; but nothing of Truth.  News enough indeed; but nothing certain.  A great deal of News; but nothing to be depended upon.  Not a little News; but not much Truth.  There is no News come.  I have had no News at all.  Something of News; but nothing certain.  There are a great many Reports come to Town; but they are all doubtful.  There is a great deal of Talk; but nothing true, nothing certain.  If Lies please, I have brought you a whole Cart-Load of them.  I bring you whole Bushels of Tales.  I bring you as many Lies as a good Ship will carry.

Pe. Then unlade yourself as fast as you can, for fear you should sink, being so over-freighted.

Ch. I have nothing but what’s the Chat of Barbers Shops, Coaches and Boats.

Han’t you received any Letters.  The Form.

Pe. Have you had no Letters?  Have you had any Letters out of your own Country?  Have no Letters been brought to you?  Have you receiv’d any Letters?  Have you had any Letters?  Have you receiv’d any Letters from your Friends?  Are there no Letters come from France?

The Answer.

Ch. I have received no Letters.  I han’t had so much as a Letter.  I han’t had the least Bit of a Letter.  No Body has sent me any Letter.  There is not the least Word come from any Body.  I have received no more Letters for this long Time, than what you see in my Eye.  Indeed I had rather have Money than Letters.  I had rather receive Money than Letters.  I don’t matter Letters, so the Money does but come.  I had rather be paid, than be written to.

* * * * *

I believe so.  The Form.

Pe. I easily believe you.  That is not hard to be believ’d.  It is a very easy Thing to believe that.  Who would not believe you in that?  He will be very incredulous, that won’t believe you in that Matter.  In Truth I do believe you.  You will easily make me believe that.  I can believe you without swearing.  What you say is very likely.  But for all that, Letters bring some Comfort.  I had rather have either of them, than neither.

* * * * *

Of Profit.  A Form.

Ch. What signifies Letters without Money?  What signifies empty Letters?  What do empty Letters avail?  What good do they do, what do they profit, advantage?  To whom are Letters grateful or acceptable without Money?  What Advantage do empty Letters bring?  What are idle Letters good for?  What do they do?  What use are they of?  What are they good for?  What do they bring with them of Moment?  What Use are empty Letters of?

The Answer.