Pa. Where had you Money all the While?

Po. My Mother gave me some by Stealth, and I ran over Head and Ears in Debt.

Eu. Had any Body so little Wit as to lend you?

Po. There are some Persons who will trust no Body more readily than they will a Spendthrift.

Pa. And what next?

Po. At last my Father was going about to disinherit me in good earnest.  Some Friends interpos’d, and made up the Breach upon this Condition; that I should renounce the French Woman, and marry one of our own Country.

Eu. Was she your Wife?

Po. There had past some Words between us in the future Tense, but there had been carnal Copulation in the present Tense.

Eu. How could you leave her then?

Po. It came to be known afterwards, that my French Woman had a French Husband that she had elop’d from some Time before.

Eu. But it seems you have a Wife now.

Po. None besides this which is my Eighth.

Eu. The Eighth!  Why then you were named Polygamus by Way of Prophecy.  Perhaps they all died without Children.

Po. Nay, there was not one of them but left me a Litter which I have at Home.

Eu. I had rather have so many Hens at Home, which would lay me Eggs.  An’t you weary of wifeing?

Po. I am so weary of it, that if this Eighth should die to Day, I would marry the Ninth to-Morrow.  Nay, it vexes me that I must not have two or three, when one Cock has so many Hens.

Eu. Indeed I don’t wonder, Mr. Cock, that you are no fatter, and that you have brought old Age upon you to that Degree; for nothing brings on old Age faster, than excessive and hard Drinking, keeping late Hours, and Whoring, extravagant Love of Women, and immoderate Venery.  But who maintains your Family all this While?

Po. A small Estate came to me by the Death of my Father, and I work hard with my Hands.

Eu. Have you given over Study then?

Po. Altogether.  I have brought a Noble to Nine Pence, and of a Master of seven Arts, I am become a Workman of but one Art.

Eu. Poor Man!  So many Times you were obliged to be a Mourner, and so many Times a Widower.

Po. I never liv’d single above ten Days, and the new Wife always put an End to the Mourning for the old one.  So, you have in Truth the Epitome of my Life; and I wish Pampirus would give us a Narration of his Life; he bears his Age well enough:  For if I am not mistaken, he is two or three Years older than I.

Pa. Truly I’ll tell it ye, if you are at Leisure to hear such a Romance.

Eu. Nay, it will be a Pleasure to hear it.

Pa. When I went Home my antient Father began to press me earnestly to enter into some Course of Life, that might make some Addition to what I had; and after long Consultation Merchandizing was what I took to.