Chorus.

Two lovely brown eyes! 
Oh, what a surprise! 
SALLIE and BILL your calm beauty could thrill;
Two lovely brown eyes!

Art (so I argue) for all is best,
Here, in the East, on the Day of Rest,
Lo! my pet theory put to the test! 
Oh, what a surprise! 
The chap staring there is a Coster true,
Trowsered in corduroy, belchered in blue;
What does he think of your heavenly hue,
Two lovely brown eyes?

Chorus.

Two lovely brown eyes! 
Oh, what a surprise! 
“SALLIE”, he whispered, “she’s got, like you,
Two lovely brown eyes!”

The picture was one of BURNE-JONES’S best;
“SALLIE” was snub-nosed and showily drest;
I sought her visage in querulous quest,
When oh, what a surprise! 
Plump in the midst of a “puddingy” face,
Coarse-cut in feature, devoid of grace,
Nature capricious had chosen to place
Two lovely brown eyes!

Chorus.

Two lovely brown eyes! 
Oh, what a surprise! 
There on each side of a salient “snub,”
Two lovely brown eyes: 

Brown?  Ah, yes!  But, alack! alack! 
The brown was fringed with a halo of black,
Fruit, it was plain of some marital thwack,
Oh, what a surprise!
“She,” sighed the girl, “has a beautiful chump,
Though she do seem to ’ave got the ’ump.
Them pair o’ lamps never felt a thump,
Them lovely brown eyes!”

Chorus.

Two lovely brown eyes! 
Oh, what a surprise! 
Something seemed telling that man he was wrong,
Two lovely brown eyes!

Say, was it fancy?  I saw a flush
O’er the coarse cheeks of that Coster rush,
“Stash it!” he murmured.  A Coster blush? 
Oh, what a surprise! 
SALLIE,—­she clung to his muscular arm—­
With a look half lovingness, half alarm,
He stooped and—­kissed her!  Now, was it your charm,
Two lovely brown eyes?

Chorus.

Two lovely brown eyes! 
Oh, what a surprise! 
Was it your influence, gentle yet strong,
Two lovely brown eyes?

“BILL,” whispered she, “you may bet two d
She never nagged at ’er bloke—­like me—­
He never wheeled a whelk-barrer, d’yer see? 
Oh, what a surprise! 
Parties with cultcher and piles o’cash
Ain’t no temptation to row or bash,
But—­who’s to tell but she’s jilted ’er mash—­
Miss Lovely Brown Heyes?”

Chorus.

Two lovely brown eyes! 
Oh, what a surprise! 
Twinkled like stars ’twixt a tear and a frown,
Two lovely brown eyes.

The moral you’ve caught I can hardly doubt;
On Art versus Morals men sneer or shout,
Leave it to OSCAR to fight that out,
If you would be wise. 
Better, far better, it is to let
Beautiful things work their way—­you bet! 
Then the Coster’s wife may less frequently wet
Her lovely brown eyes.