“Oh?  Then I’ve emptied this water-jug down the wrong chimney.  We’d better clear out of this.”

At this juncture HANKIN returned, and GIDLING said a good deal to him.  HANKIN was left to put out the fire, and we went back again to the Club.  GIDLING seemed rather annoyed with me for laughing about his mistake.

“It’s a deuced awkward thing,” he said.  “That water went down somebody’s chimney, and it’s put somebody’s fire out.  That means unpleasantness, you know, if he or she finds out who did it.”

“Who live in the flats below yours?” I asked.

“An Art-student and her mother in the flat below mine—­they are really most charming people, and I hope to goodness it wasn’t their chimney that I poured the water down.  I’m on rather friendly terms with them.  Then on the first floor there’s BUDWELL.  He’s a conceited affected ape.  I only hope it was he who got the benefit of that water-jug.  It’s rather amusing, you know.  BUDWELL’s very much in love with Miss VANE (that’s the Art-student), and she loathes him—­at least I believe so.  Poor beggar!” GIDLING laughed, sarcastically.  “Yes, I hope that was BUDWELL’s chimney, not the other.”

It turned out afterwards that it was BUDWELL’s chimney, and he found out that it was GIDLING who had done the deed.  So BUDWELL determined on revenge.  He climbed up on to the roof with a large bath-can of water, intending to empty it down GIDLING’s chimney.  Chimneys ought to be labelled.  The whole of the contents of that can descended into Mrs. VANE’s fireplace.  BUDWELL called and apologised, but it was of no use.  They considered it mean of BUDWELL to take revenge for what was only a mistake on GIDLING’s part; and they were not very well pleased at having their own fire put out.  “A chimney’s not the place for a cataract, you know, Mr. BUDWELL,” said Miss VANE.

BUDWELL went back to his own flat and brooded over his misfortunes.  He had now grown still more angry with GIDLING, which was irrational of him; and he determined to take a still fiercer revenge.  Late at night he conveyed the bath-can and several jugs, all full of water, on to the roof.  There was no fear of his selecting Mrs. VANE’s chimney by mistake this time.  One by one he emptied the jugs and the water-can, and then descended to his own flat, fiendishly triumphant, as he thought of the havoc he must have made in GIDLING’s fire-place.

But when he got to his own flat, he found that he had emptied all that water down his own chimney.

After that he gave up his revenges, together with his affections and his apartments.  But GIDLING tells the story with considerable unction; the facts of it were partly derived from BUDWELL’s servant and partly from Miss VANE—­with whom GIDLING is beginning to be on more than friendly terms.

* * * * *

INTERNATIONAL NURSERY-TALE CONGRESS.

The Chair was taken by Mr. JOHN HORNER, P.R.I.N.T.C., lineal descendant of the celebrated “Jack” of that ilk.