Attending at your office getting
Secretary to sign form. 10 0

" 4.  Attending Windsor Hotel when
department disbanded and had
gone to Lancaster Gate 13 4

Attending you reporting on
telephone 3 4

"   6.   Fare and expenses                              15  0
--------
Total            L14 5  0

* * * * *

THE DRINK OF THE GODS.

A PROHIBITIONIST’S CANTICLE.

Let meaner souls make merry
O’er cups of ruby wine,
With claret, port or sherry
Their tunes incarnadine;
Let little boys emphatic
Become o’er ginger b. 
Myself I grow ecstatic
About a drink called “Tea.”

  Tea elevates one’s pecker,
    Rejuvenates the mind,
  Enriches the exchequer,
    Yet never makes men “blind”;
  When footsore and effete I’m
    From every ache set free,
  And not alone at tea-time
    I thank the Lord for “Tea.”

  It tells of balmy breezes
    That blow “o’er Ceylon’s isle”
  (While HEBER mostly pleases
    His accent here is vile)—­
  Of some far-flung plantation
    Where Hindus bend the knee;
  And would my occupation
    Were prefixed (ah!) by “Tea”!

  ’Tis told in classic fable
    The nectar served to Zeus
  At his Olympic table
    Was just a vinous juice;
  That such is purely fiction
    I heartily agree,
  Having the sound conviction
    ’Twas nothing less than “Tea.”

* * * * *

“PARIS, SATURDAY.

    The Conference will be held in the imposing Salle de la Grande
    Horloge.  The ‘hall of the great clock’ is about 30in. long by
    15in. wide.”—­Liverpool Echo.

“Imposing,” indeed.

* * * * *

“Manchester’s L6,000,000 scheme for obtaining water supplies from Haweswater was approved last night at a meeting of ratepayers in the Town Hall.  The annual increased consumption of water had been a little over a million gallons per head per day.”—­Daily Dispatch.

The new slogan of the temperance enthusiasts—­What Manchester drinks to-day England will drink to-morrow.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Visitor.  “BUT THOSE ATTACKS OF MALARIA DON’T LAST LONG, DO THEY?”

Tommy.  “MINE ISN’T ORDINARY MALARIA.  THE DOCTOR CALLS IT ‘MALINGERING MALARIA.’”]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(BY MR. PUNCH’S STAFF OF LEARNED CLERKS.)