The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682) eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 240 pages of information about The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682).

The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682) eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 240 pages of information about The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682).

Therefore without denial away the good man himself must to fetch the Midwife; for who knows whether or no she would come so quick if the maid went; nay it is a question also, being so late in the night, whether she would come along with the maid alone, because she dwells in a very solitary corner clearly at the t’other end of the City:  (for after a ripe deliberation of the good woman, the lot fell so that she made choice of this grave and experienced Midwife).

Away runs the poor man without stop or stay, as if he were running for a wager of some great concern.  And though it be never so cold, the sweat trickles down by the hair of his head, for fear he should not find the Midwife at home; or that perhaps she might be fetcht out to some other place, from whence she could not come.  And if it should happen so, we are all undone, for the good woman must have this Midwife, or else she dies; neither can or dare she condescend to take any of the other, for the reasons afore mentioned.

But what remedy? if there must come another, then she will so alter, vex, and fret her self at it, that all the provocations of pains in labour, turns against her stomack, and there is no hopes further for that time.

But whilest you are running, and consider in this manner hope the best; rather think with your self, what great joy is approaching unto you, if your wife, thus soon, come to be safely delivered of a hopefull Son or Daughter:  In the first place, you will be freed from all that trouble of rising in the night, and from the hearing of the grumbling and mumbling of your wife; two months sooner then you your self did expect you should have been.

Be not discomforted although she doth thus unexpectedly force you out of bed, before you have hardly slept an hour, for you see there’s great occasion for’t; and now is the time to show that you truly love your wife.  This first time will make it more accustomary, the first is also commonly the worst.  And if you be so fortunate that at the very first you happen to meet with this prudent and grave Matron Midwife, & do bring her to your longing-for dearly beloved Wife; yet nevertheless you may assure your self, that before you can arrive to have the full scope and heighth of this Pleasure, you’l find something more to do:  For the Midwife is not able alone to govern and take care of all things that must be fetcht, brought and carried to and again; therefore of necessity the friends must be fetcht with all the speed imaginable, viz.  Sisters, Wives, Aunts, Cousins, and several familiar good acquaintances must have notice of it, and be defraied to come to her quickly, quickly, without any delay; and if you do not invite them very ceremonially, every one according to their degrees and qualities, it is taken to be no small affront.

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The Ten Pleasures of Marriage and The Confession of the New-married Couple (1682) from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.