“This here wave iv rayform,” said Mr. Dooley, “this here wave iv rayform, Jawn, mind ye, that’s sweepin’ over th’ counthry, mind ye, now, Jawn, is raisin’ th’ divvle, I see be th’ pa-apers.  I’ve seen waves iv rayform before, Jawn.  Whin th’ people iv this counthry gets wurruked up, there’s no stoppin’ thim.  They’ll not dhraw breath until ivry man that took a dollar iv a bribe is sent down th’ r-road.  Thim that takes two goes on th’ comity iv th’ wave iv rayform.

“It sthruck th’ r-road las’ week.  Darcey, th’ new polisman on th’ bate, comes in here ivry night f’r to study spellin’ an’ figgers.  I think they’ll throw him down, whin he goes to be examined.  Wan iv th’ wild la-ads down be th’ slough hit him with a brick wanst, an’ he ain’t been able to do fractions since.  Thin he’s got inflammathry rheumatism enough to burn a barn, an’ he can’t turn a page without makin’ ye think he’s goin’ to lose a thumb.  He’s got wife an’ childher, an’ he’s on in years; but he’s a polisman, an’ he’s got to be rayformed.  I tell him all I can.  He didn’t know where St. Pethersburg was till I tould him it was th’ capital iv Sweden.  They’ll not give him th’ boots on that there question.  Ye bet ye’er life they won’t, Jawn.

“I seen th’ aldherman go by yisterdah; an’ he’d shook his dimon ’stud, an’ he looked as poor as a dhrayman.  He’s rayformed.  Th’ little Dutchman that was ilicted to th’ legislachure says he will stay home.  Says I, ‘Why?’ Says he, ‘There’s nawthin’ in it.’  He’s rayformed.  Th’ wather inspictor, that used to take a dhrink an’ a seegar an’ report me two pipes less thin I have, turned me in las’ week f’r a garden hose an’ a ploonge bath.  He’s rayformed.  Th’ wave iv rayform has sthruck, an’ we’re all goin’ around now with rubbers on.

“They’ve organized th’ Ar-rchey Road Lexow Sodality, an’ ‘tis th’ wan institootion that Father Kelly up west iv th’ bridge ’ll duck his head to.  All th’ best citizens is in it.  Th’ best citizens is thim that th’ statue iv limitations was made f’r.  Barrister Hogan tol’ me—­an’ a dacint man, but give to dhrink—­that, whin a man cud hide behind th’ statue iv limitations, he was all r-right.  I niver seen it.  Is that th’ wan on th’ lake front?  No, tubby sure, tubby sure.  No wan ’d hide behind that.

“Th’ Ar-rchey Road Lexow Sodality is composed iv none but square men.  They all have th’ coin, Jawn.  A man that’s broke can’t be square.  He’s got too much to do payin’ taxes.  If I had a million, divvle th’ step would I step to confession.  I’d make th’ soggarth come an’ confess to me.  They say that th’ sthreets iv Hivin was paved with goold.  I’ll bet ye tin to wan that with all th’ square men that goes there ivry year they have ilecloth down now.”

“Oh, go on,” said Mr. McKenna.