Shandygaff eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 257 pages of information about Shandygaff.

Shandygaff eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 257 pages of information about Shandygaff.

    —­HOBBES, Leviathan, Chap.  VIII.

The bachelor is almost extinct in America.  Our hopelessly utilitarian civilization demands that a man of forty should be rearing a family, should go to an office five times a week, and pretend an interest in the World’s Series.  It is unthinkable to us that there should be men of mature years who do not know the relative batting averages of the Red Sox and the Pirates.  The intellectual and strolling male of from thirty-five to fifty-five years (which is what one means by bachelor) must either marry and settle down in the Oranges, or he must flee to Europe or the MacDowell Colony.  There is no alternative.  Vachel Lindsay please notice.

The fate of Henry James is a case in point.  Undoubtedly he fled the shores of his native land to escape the barrage of the bonbonniverous sub-deb, who would else have mown him down without ruth.

But in England they still linger, these quaint, phosphorescent middle-aged creatures, lurking behind a screenage of muffins and crumpets and hip baths.  And thither fled one of the most delightful born bachelors this hemisphere has ever unearthed, Mr. Logan Pearsall Smith.

Mr. Smith was a Philadelphian, born about fifty years ago.  But that most amiable of cities does not encourage detached and meditative bachelorhood, and after sampling what is quaintly known as “a guarded education in morals and manners” at Haverford College, our hero passed to Harvard, and thence by a swifter decline to Oxford.  Literature and liberalism became his pursuits; on the one hand, he found himself engrossed in the task of proving to the British electorate that England need not always remain the same; on the other, he wrote a Life of Sir Henry Wotton, a volume of very graceful and beautiful short stories about Oxford ("The Youth of Parnassus”) and a valuable little book on the history and habits of the English language.

But in spite of his best endeavours to quench and subdue his mental humours, Mr. Smith found his serious moments invaded by incomprehensible twinges of esprit.  Travelling about England, leading the life of the typical English bachelor, equipped with gladstone bag, shaving kit, evening clothes and tweeds; passing from country house to London club, from Oxford common room to Sussex gardens, the solemn pageantry of the cultivated classes now and then burst upon him in its truly comic aspect.  The tinder and steel of his wit, too uncontrollably frictioned, ignited a shower of roman candles, and we conceive him prostrated with irreverent laughter in some lonely railway carriage.

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Shandygaff from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.