away at this rate?’ Sir Thomas withdrew, and
knew it would not be long a secret to him; as well
as that experience told him, he that marries a fortune,
is of course guilty of all faults against his wife,
let them be committed by whom they will. But Springly,
an hour or two after, returns from the Wells, and
finds the whole company together. Down she sat,
and a profound silence ensued. You know a premeditated
quarrel usually begins and works up with the words,
‘Some people.’ The silence was broken
by Lady Autumn, who began to say, ’There are
some people who fancy, that if some people—’
Springly immediately takes her up; ‘There are
some people who fancy, if other people—’
Autumn repartees, ’People may give themselves
airs; but other people, perhaps, who make less ado,
may be, perhaps, as agreeable as people who set themselves
out more.’ All the other people at the table
sat mute, while these two people, who were quarrelling,
went on with the use of the word ‘people,’
instancing the very accidents between them, as if they
kept only in distant hints. ‘Therefore,’
says Autumn, reddening, ’there are some people
who will go abroad in other people’s coaches,
and leave those, with whom they went, to shift for
themselves; and if, perhaps, those people have married
the younger brother, yet, perhaps, he may be beholden
to those people for what he is.’ Springly
smartly answers, ’People may bring so much ill
humour into a family, as people may repent their receiving
their money’; and goes on—’Everybody
is not considerable enough to give her uneasiness.’
Upon this, Autumn comes up to her, and desired her
to kiss her, and never to see her again; which her
sister refusing, my lady gave her a box on the ear.
Springly returns; ‘Ay, ay,’ said she,
’I knew well enough you meant me by your “some
people,"’ and gives her another on the other
side. To it they went with most masculine fury:
each husband ran in. The wives immediately fell
upon their husbands, and tore periwigs and cravats.
The company interposed; when (according to the slip-knot
of matrimony, which makes them return to one another
when any put in between) the ladies and their husbands
fell upon all the rest of the company; and having beat
all their friends and relations out of the house,
came to themselves time enough to know, there was
no bearing the jest of the place after these adventures,
and therefore marched off the next day. It is
said, the governor has sent several joints of mutton,
and has proposed divers dishes very exquisitely dressed,
to bring them down again. From his address and
knowledge in roast and boiled, all our hopes of the
return of this good company depend. I am,
“Dear Jenny,
“Your ready Friend
“And Servant,
“MARTHA TATLER.”
White’s Chocolate-house, June 30.


