good I have done them, which I publish for the benefit of the world, and not out of any thoughts of private advantage.  I have cured fine Mrs. Spy of a great imperfection in her eyes, which made her eternally rolling them from one coxcomb to another in public places, in so languishing a manner, that it at once lessened her own power, and her beholder’s vanity.  Twenty drops of my ink, placed in certain letters on which she attentively looked for half an hour, have restored her to the true use of her sight; which is, to guide, and not mislead us.  Ever since she took this liquor, which I call Bickerstaff’s Circumspection Water, she looks right forward, and can bear being looked at for half a day without returning one glance.  This water has a peculiar virtue in it, which makes it the only true cosmetic or beauty wash in the world:  the nature of it is such, that if you go to a glass, with design to admire your face, it immediately changes it into downright deformity.  If you consult it only to look with a better countenance upon your friends, it immediately gives an alacrity to the visage, and new grace to the whole person.  There is indeed a great deal owing to the constitution of the person to whom it is applied:  it is in vain to give it when the patient is in the rage of the distemper; a bride in her first month, a lady soon after her husband’s being knighted, or any person of either sex who has lately obtained any new good fortune or preferment, must be prepared some time before they use it.  It has an effect upon others, as well as the patient, when it is taken in due form.  Lady Petulant has by the use of it cured her husband of jealousy, and Lady Gad her whole neighbourhood of detraction.  The fame of these things, added to my being an old fellow, makes me extremely acceptable to the fair sex.  You would hardly believe me, when I tell you there is not a man in town so much their delight as myself.  They make no more of visiting me, than going to Madam d’Epingle’s.[337] There were two of them, namely, Damia and Clidamira (I assure you women of distinction) who came to see me this morning in their way to prayers, and being in a very diverting humour as (innocence always makes people cheerful) they would needs have me, according to the distinction of “pretty” and “very pretty” fellows, inform them if I thought either of them had a title to the “very pretty” among those of their own sex; and if I did, which was the more deserving of the two.  To put them to the trial, “Look ye,” said I, “I must not rashly give my judgment in matters of this importance; pray let me see you dance:  I play upon the kit."[338] They immediately fell back to the lower end of the room (you may be sure they curtsied low enough to me):  and began.  Never were two in the world so equally matched, and both scholars to my namesake Isaac.[339] Never was man in so dangerous a condition as myself, when they began to expand their charms.  “O! ladies, ladies,” cried I, “not half that air, you’ll fire the