lad of true genius; but being at the upper end of a
great school, and having all the lads below him, his
arrogance is insupportable. If I begin to show
a little of my Latin, he immediately interrupts:
“Uncle, under favour, that which you say is
not understood in that manner.” “Brother,”
says my boy Jack, “you do not show your manners
much in contradicting my Uncle Isaac.”
“You queer cur,” says Mr. William, “do
you think my uncle takes any notice of such a dull
rogue as you are?” Mr. William goes on; “He
is the most stupid of all my mother’s children:
he knows nothing of his book: when he should mind
that, he is hiding or hoarding his taws and marbles,
or laying up farthings. His way of thinking is,
four and twenty farthings make sixpence, and two sixpences
a shilling, two shillings and sixpence half a crown,
and two half-crowns five shillings. So within
these two months, the close hunks has scraped up twenty
shillings, and we’ll make him spend it all before
he comes home.” Jack immediately claps
his hands into both pockets, and turns as pale as
ashes. There is nothing touches a parent (and
such I am to Jack) so nearly, as a provident temper.
This lad has in him the true temper for a good husband,
a kind father, and an honest executor. All the
great people you see make considerable figures on
the ’Change, in Court, and sometimes in Senates,
are such as in reality have no greater faculty than
what may be called human instinct, which is a natural
tendency to their own preservation, and that of their
friends, without being capable of striking out of
the road for adventures. There is Sir William
Scrip was of this sort of capacity from his childhood:
he has bought the country round him, and makes a bargain
better than Sir Harry Wildfire with all his wit and
humour. Sir Harry never wants money but he comes
to Scrip, laughs at him half an hour, and then gives
bond for the other thousand. The close men are
incapable of placing merit anywhere but in their pence,
and therefore gain it; while others, who have larger
capacities, are diverted from the pursuit by enjoyments,
which can be supported only by that cash which they
despise; and therefore are in the end, slaves to their
inferiors both in fortune and understanding. I
once heard a man of excellent sense observe, that
more affairs in the world failed by being in the hands
of men of too large capacities for their business,
than by being in the conduct of such as wanted abilities
to execute them. Jack therefore being of a plodding
make, shall be a citizen; and I design him to be the
refuge of the family in their distress, as well as
their jest in prosperity. His brother Will, shall
go to Oxford with all speed, where, if he does not
arrive at being a man of sense, he will soon be informed
wherein he is a coxcomb. There is in that place
such a true spirit of raillery and humour, that if
they can’t make you a wise man, they will certainly
let you know you are a fool, which is all my cousin


