is the more surprising, because men of the most delicate
sense and principles have naturally in other cases
a particular repugnance in accommodating themselves
to the maxims of the world: but one may easily
distinguish the man that is affected with beauty, and
the reputation of a tilt, from him who complies with
both, merely as they are imposed upon him by custom;
for in the former you will remark an air of vanity
and triumph; whereas when the latter appears in a
long Duvillier full of powder, or has decided a quarrel
by the sword, you may perceive in his face, that he
appeals to custom for an excuse. I think it may
not be improper to inquire into the genealogy of this
chimerical monster, called a ‘duel’, which
I take to be an illegitimate species of the ancient
knight-errantry. By the laws of this whim, your
heroic person, or man of gallantry, was indispensably
obliged to starve in armour a certain number of years
in the chase of monsters, encounter them at the peril
of his life, and suffer great hardships, in order to
gain the affection of the fair lady, and qualify himself
for assuming the
belair, that is, of a pretty
fellow, or man of honour according to the fashion:
but since the publishing of ‘Don Quixote’
and extinction of the race of dragons, which Suetonius
says happened in that of Wantley,[300] the gallant
and heroic spirits of these latter times have been
under the necessity of creating new chimerical monsters
to entertain themselves with, by way of single combats,
as the only proofs they are able to give their own
sex, and the ladies, that they are in all points men
of nice honour. But to do justice to the ancient
and real monsters, I must observe, that they never
molested those who were not of a humour to hunt for
them in the woods and deserts; whereas on the contrary,
our modern monsters are so familiarly admitted and
entertained in all the Courts and cities of Europe
(except France) that one can scarce be in the most
humanised society without risking one’s life;
the people of the best sort, and the fine gentlemen
of the age, being so fond of them, that they seldom
appear in any public place without one. I have
some further considerations upon this subject, which,
as you encourage me, shall be communicated to you,
by, sir, a cousin but once removed from the best family
of the Staffs, namely, “Sir,
“Your humble Servant,
“Kinsman and Friend,
“TIM
SWITCH.”
It is certain, Mr. Switch has hit upon the true source
of this evil; and that it proceeds only from the force
of custom that we contradict ourselves in half the
particulars and occurrences of life. But such
a tyranny in love, which the fair impose upon us,
is a little too severe, that we must demonstrate our
affection for them by no certain proof but hatred
to one another, or come at them (only as one does to
an estate) by survivorship. This way of application
to gain a lady’s heart, is taking her as we
do towns and castles, by distressing the place, and
letting none come near them without our pass.
Were such a lover once to write the truth of his heart,
and let her know his whole thoughts, he would appear
indeed to have a passion for her; but it would hardly
be called love. The billet-doux would run to
this purpose: