which is, the term “satisfaction.”  An honest country gentleman had the misfortune to fall into company with two or three modern men of honour, where he happened to be very ill-treated; and one of the company being conscious of his offence, sends a note to him in the morning, and tells him, he was ready to give him satisfaction.  “This is fine doing,” says the plain fellow:  “last night he sent me away cursedly out of humour, and this morning he fancies it would be a satisfaction to be run through the body.”  As the matter at present stands, it is not to do handsome actions denominates a man of honour; it is enough if he dares to defend ill ones.  Thus you often see a common sharper in competition with a gentleman of the first rank; though all mankind is convinced, that a fighting gamester is only a pickpocket with the courage of a highwayman.  One cannot with any patience reflect on the unaccountable jumble of persons and things in this town and nation, which occasions very frequently, that a brave man falls by a hand below that of the common hangman, and yet his executioner escapes the clutches of the hangman for doing it.  I shall therefore hereafter consider, how the bravest men in other ages and nations have behaved themselves upon such incidents as we decide by combat; and show, from their practice, that this resentment neither has its foundation from true reason, nor solid fame; but is an imposture,[268] made up of cowardice, falsehood, and want of understanding.  For this work, a good history of quarrels would be very edifying to the public, and I apply myself to the town for particulars and circumstances within their knowledge, which may serve to embellish the dissertation with proper cuts.  Most of the quarrels I have ever known, have proceeded from some valiant coxcomb’s persisting in the wrong, to defend some prevailing folly, and preserve himself from the ingenuity of owning a mistake.[269]

By this means it is called, “giving a man satisfaction,” to urge your offence against him with your sword; which puts me in mind of Peter’s order to the keeper, in the “Tale of a Tub”:  “If you neglect to do all this, damn you and your generation for ever; and so we bid you heartily farewell."[270] If the contradiction in the very terms of one of our challenges were as well explained, and turned into plain English, would it not run after this manner?

“SIR,

“Your extraordinary behaviour last night, and the liberty you were pleased to take with me, makes me this morning give you this, to tell you, because you are an ill-bred puppy, I will meet you in Hyde Park an hour hence; and because you want both breeding and humanity, I desire you would come with a pistol in your hand, on horseback, and endeavour to shoot me through the head; to teach you more manners.  If you fail of doing me this pleasure, I shall say, you are a rascal on every post in town:  and so, sir, if you will not injure me more, I shall never forgive what you have done already.  Pray sir, do not fail of getting everything ready, and you will infinitely oblige,