From 8 to 14, when first I had sexual emissions, I masturbated at every opportunity.  From 14 to 27, always once a day, generally twice and sometimes three times a day.  At 27 I took rooms and formed acquaintance with the family occupying the house.  The boys, one by one, were allowed to sleep with me and I conceived an extraordinary passion for one of them, an attachment which lasted till I finally left England.  The attachment was much more that of a man for his wife and had nothing degrading in it.  I was wretched when away from him, and as he was very attached to sport of all kinds I suffered ‘divers kinds of death’ each time that I imagined his life to be endangered.  I can honestly say that in each of my attachments, and I have had many, the prevailing sentiment was the delight of protecting a weaker being than myself.  Each person whom I have loved has been perfectly normal and all are now fathers of families.  Each still regards me with affection and respect in spite of what has passed between us.  All my life I have been possessed with the passion for paternity, I could almost say maternity.  Willingly would I have suffered the pains of hell could I have borne a son to the person I loved.  That I can honestly say has been the dominant instinct of my life.  In my passion I have never been brutal, nor save under the influence of wine have I had connection with men over the age of puberty.  In Southern Europe my experiences have been the same, a predominant passion for a boy exhibiting itself in every species of protecting care, and though terminating so far as sexual passion was concerned when the boy reached 15 or 16 years, yet still lasting and enduring in an honest and unselfish affection.  At the age of 51, I still masturbate once or twice a week, though I long for some person whom I love to share the pleasure with me.  I tried vainly at the age of 27 to bring myself into line with others.  Prostitutes caused me horror, whether male or female.  I attempted the act of coitus four or five times, twice with women of loose lives and at other times with married women.  Save in one case the attempts were either abortive or caused me extreme disgust.

“Practically from the time of puberty I have attracted sexually not only women but men.  Women, oddly enough, though I care nothing for them sexually, either hate me or adore me, and I have had five offers of marriage.  At the same time up till five years ago, I was pursued by men and have had the oddest experiences both in England and abroad.  In the early period of this history I suffered tremendously from the feeling that I was isolated and unique in the world.  I strove against the habit of masturbation and my perverted tastes with all my might.  Scourges, vigils, burnings, all were of no avail.  Deeper reading in the Classics showed me how common was the taste of sex for the same sex.  At 27 I began to have a settled philosophy.  Then as now, I made endless resolutions to avoid masturbation,