22.  By friends, I would not be understood to mean confidential ones; but persons who speak of you respectfully, and who, consistent with their own interest, would wish to be of service to you, and would rather do you good than harm.

Another thing I must recommend to you, as characteristic of a polite education, and of having kept good company, is a graceful manner of conferring favours.  The most obliging things may be done so aukwardly as to offend, while the most disagreeable things may be done so agreeable as to please.

23.  A few more articles of general advice, and I have done; the first is on the subject of vanity.  It is the common failing of youth, and as such ought to be carefully guarded against.  The vanity I mean, is that which, if given way to, stamps a man a coxcomb, a character he will find a difficulty to get rid of, perhaps as long as he lives.  Now this vanity shews itself in a variety of shapes; one man shall pride himself in taking the lead in all conversations, and peremptorily deciding upon every subject; another, desirous of appearing successful among the women, shall insinuate the encouragement he has met with, the conquests he makes, and perhaps boasts of favours he never received; if he speaks the truth, he is ungenerous; if false, he is a villain; but whether true or false, he defeats his own purposes, overthrows the reputation he wishes to erect, and draws upon himself contempt in the room of respect.

24.  Some men are vain enough to think they acquire consequence by alliance, or by an acquaintance with persons of distinguished character or abilities:  hence they are eternally taking of their grand-father, Lord such-a-one; their kinsman, Sir William such-a-one; or their intimate friend, Dr. such-a-one, with whom, perhaps, they are scarce acquainted.  If they are ever found out (and that they are sure to be one time or other) they become ridiculous and contemptible; but even admitting what they say to be true, what then?  A man’s intrinsic merit does not arise from an ennobled alliance, or a reputable acquaintance.

25.  A rich man never borrows.  When angling for praise, modesty is the surest bait.  If we would wish to shine in any particular character, we must never affect that character.  An affectation of courage will make a man pass for a bully; an affectation of wit, for a coxcomb; and an affectation of sense, for a fool.  Not that I would recommend bashfulness or timidity; no:  I would have every one know his own value, yet not discover that he knows it, but leave his merit to be found out by others.

26.  Another thing worth your attention is, if in company with an inferior, not to let him feel his inferiority; if he discovers it himself without your endeavours, the fault is not yours, and he will not blame you; but if you take pains to mortify him, or to make him feel himself inferior to you in abilities, fortune, or rank, it is an insult that will not readily be forgiven.  In point of abilities, it would be unjust, as they are out of his power; in point of rank or fortune, it is ill-natured and ill-bred.