forren parts, as has all agreed for to cum at the same time to do ’em honour, and as if that wasn’t quite enuff for one day, the noble Prince of WHALES, and the butiful Princess of WHALES, and all the Royal Family, will be werry much “hall there” for to receeve ’em and shew ’em praps the luvlyest site in Urope, wiz., the butiful Gildhall made into a bower of roses, and covered with reel dammarsk tablecloths from top to bottom, and them all covered with such a fairy-like Lunshon as makes my pore old mouth water ony jest to think upon!  There’s one thing as I’m afraid as His Himperial Madjesty will be werry angry at, and that is, as they ain’t a going for to make him free of the Citty, which is one of them grate honners as all the celibryties of the World pines for.  BROWN says it ain’t commy fo, as the French says, but BROWN don’t know everythink, tho’ he is a trying his werry best to learn a few German words in case the Hemperer asks him for sumthink to eat, such as a little sour krowt.  The best of the fun is that he acshally spells sour, sauer! I ain’t not a pertickler good speller myself, but I reely shoud be artily ashamed of sich a blunder as that.

The pore Committee, as has to see to hewerythink, begins for to look jest a little pail and worryed—­and who can wunder at it, for I’m told as they is amost torn to peaces with applications for Tickets, tho they ony has two a-peace for their friends, and won’t have one for theirselves, but will have to walk about all the time of the Lunch, with their long sticks of office, to see as ewerybody xcept theirselves is nice and cumferal, and got plenty to eat and drink.  And, torking of drink, jest reminds me of the tasting Committee, pore fellers! who has got for to go to all the werry best Wine sellers in the Citty, to taste all their werry best wines, and decide which, of every kind and description, they shall select for their himperial royal gests.  Why it’s amost enuff to give ’em all hedakes for the rest of their nateral lives.

I don’t know of any further arrangements as is quite finally settled, so praps I may have jest a few lines to add nex week.

ROBERT.

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QUEER QUERIES.—­A FIRST READING.—­Would some person kindly inform me of a good Recitation for a Smoking Concert?  I have been asked to recite “something telling” after the annual banquet of a Club of local Licensed Victuallers.  I am thinking of the First Book of Paradise Lost.  Or would parts of The Excursion be more likely to create a furore?  I have never recited in public before, and feel rather doubtful of my ability to “hold” the Victuallers.—­WILLING TO OBLIGE.

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[Illustration:  GENTLE SATIRE.

“I SAY, BILL, LOOK ’ERE!  ’ERE’S A OLD COVE OUT RECORD-BREAKING!”]

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“THE DILEMMA.”

(An old Irish Story newly applied.)