* * * * *

MORAL:  He can always pick out the Right Kind for the Other Fellow.

* * * * *

WHAT THEY HAD LAID OUT FOR THEIR VACATION

A man who had three weeks of Vacation coming to him began to get busy with an Atlas about April 1st.  He and his Wife figured that by keeping on the Jump they could do Niagara, Thousand Islands, Atlantic City, The Mammoth Cave and cover the Great Lakes.

On April 10th they decided to charter a House-Boat and float down the Mississippi.

On April 20th he heard of a Cheap Excursion to California with a stop-over Privilege at every Station and they began to read up on Salt Lake and Yellowstone.

On May 1st she flashed a Prospectus of a Northern Lake Resort where Boats and Minnows were free and Nature was ever smiling.

By May 10th he had drawn a Blue Pencil all over a Folder of the Adirondack Region, and all the Hotel Rates were set down in his Pocket Memorandum Book.

[Illustration:  Getting Busy With an Atlas.]

Ten days later she vetoed the Mountain Trip because she had got next to a Nantucket Establishment where Family Board was $6 a Week, with the use of a Horse.

On June 1st a Friend showed him how, by making two Changes and hiring a Canoe, he could penetrate the Deep Woods, where the Foot of Man had never Trod and the Black Bass came to the Surface and begged to be taken out.

On June 15th he and Wifey packed up and did the annual Hike up to Uncle Foster’s Place in Brown County, where they ate with the Hired Hand and had Greens three times a Day.  There were no Screens on the Windows, but by climbing a Hill they could get a lovely View of the Pike that ran over to the County Seat.

* * * * *

MORAL:  If Summer came in the Spring there would be a lot of Travel.

* * * * *

THE EXPERIMENTAL COUPLE AND THE THREE OFF-SHOOTS

A man and Wife had three Sons.  The first, named Abraham Lincoln
Tibbetts, was born in 1862.  His name was promptly abbreviated to Link.

The second, who arrived in 1872, was christened Ulysses Simpson Grant
Tibbetts.  This was too long, so people called him Chub.

The third was of the Vintage of 1882 and his name went into the
Register as Chester A. Arthur Tibbetts, but, in the interest of
Euphony he was dubbed Art, because Art is Long.

The Tibbetts Family lived in the City, and Link, the first-born, enjoyed all the Advantages of Life in an Apartment Building.  He went to a Graded School and picked up so much Knowledge that at the age of 12 he could set his Parents down in front of him and tell them Things they did not know.  At 14 he was so far along that he knew how to lie in Bed and have his Mother bring his Breakfast up to him.  He went to Dancing School and learned to play all the “Pinafore” music on the Upright Agony Box.  Sometimes he chided Mr. and Mrs. Tibbetts for not having as much Money as many of the People he met at Dancing Parties.  He had about as much Application as a used-up Porous Plaster, and he worried more about his Complexion than he did about his Business Prospects.