The Sweet Girl in Question was the daughter of an Old Friend, for whose Funeral Expenses he had been landed.  She was a Confiding Thing, and did not know that the Bachelor who had started in to Rush her seven nights a Week was a Rounder and a Poker-Player and somewhat of a Lush.

Every one who knew the Sweet Girl said it was too Bad and that some one ought to go to her and warn her.  After the Old Ladies and the Elders had talked the Matter over on the side, it was decided that Jasper was It.  He was known to be kind and disinterested and was accustomed to dealing out Good Advice.  Anything that he said would go a long Way to head off the Deal.

Accordingly he did a Fatherly Talk to the Daughter of his Old Friend, giving her a Straight Line on the Conduct of the High-Roller who was trying to warm up to her.

She thanked him right from the Bottom of her heart.  Then she sent a Messenger Boy to hunt up the High-Roller, because she wanted to know if it was all True or merely a Cruel Slander.

When she sprung his Record on him he leaned right over against her and cried and said that no matter what he had been, she was the one to make him a Good Man.  Then she stroked his Hair and begged Forgiveness and he asked her who had been Knocking and she gave the whole Snap away and begged him not to do anything Desperate.  He said that whatever he did, he would do out of Love for her.

After which he went home to oil up his Pocket Hardware.

[Illustration:  Fatherly Advice.]

Next Morning the Man who wanted to help Everybody did a Flying Leap down the Back Stairway of his Office.  Just as he ducked a Bullet and cut into the Alley back of the Post-Office, it occurred to him that the True Friend Gag had its Drawbacks.

He escaped with his Life, but there was always more or less Dark Talk of his being mixed up in a Woman Case.

He is now what is known in Obituary Notices as a Practical Philanthropist.  That is, he refers all Hard-Luck Tales to a Society which was never known to give up.  The Office Boy has Instructions to admit only those who are listed in Bradstreet.  And, of course, he is never called in to smooth out Family Fights because of the Blot on his Character.

* * * * *

MORAL:  TO be a successful Benefactor, wait and put the whole Lump Sum into Libraries.

* * * * *

THE EFFORT TO CONVERT THE WORK HORSE INTO A HIGH-STEPPER

Once there was a plain, unvarnished Yank who made his Pile in a Scrub Town situated midday between the Oats Belt and the Tall Timber.  He was a large and sandy Mortal with a steel-trap Jaw and a cold glittering Eye.  He made his first Stack a Dollar at a Time on straight Deals, but after a while he learned a few Things.  He organized Stock Companies and then crawled out after hooking up with the Velvet.  Every one called him Mister and treated him with Politeness, but, just the same, when he walked into an Office Building they all wondered what he had come after and there was more or less locking of Safes.  It is only fair to remark, on the Side, that he wouldn’t take anything which was securely spiked down, and the Grand Jury never bothered him, because he worked under a Contract.