People You Know eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 96 pages of information about People You Know.

People You Know eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 96 pages of information about People You Know.

Once there was an Office Employee with a Copy-Book Education.

He believed it was his Duty to learn to Labor and to Wait.

He read Pamphlets and Magazine Articles on Success and how to make it a Cinch.  He knew that if he made no Changes and never beefed for more Salary, but just buckled down and put in Extra Time and pulled for the House, he would Arrive in time.

The Faithful Worker wanted to be Department Manager.  The Hours were short and the Salary large and the Work easy.

He plugged on for many Moons, keeping his Eye on that Roll-Top Desk, for the Manager was getting into the Has-Been Division and he knew there would be a Vacancy.

At last the House gave the old Manager the Privilege of retiring and living on whatever he had saved.

“Ah, this is where Humble Merit gets its Reward,” said the Patient Toiler.  “I can see myself counting Money.”

That very Day the Main Gazooks led into the Office one of the handsomest Tennis Players that ever worked on Long Island and introduced him all around as the new Department Manager.

“I shall expect you to tell Archibald all about the Business,” said the Main Gazooks to the Patient Toiler.  “You see he has just graduated from Yale and he doesn’t know a dum Thing about Managing anything except a Cat-Boat, but his Father is one of our principal Stock-Holders and he is engaged to a Young Woman whose Uncle is at the head of the Trust.”

“I had been hoping to get this Job for myself,” said the Faithful Worker, faintly.

[Illustration:  His Ambition.]

“You are so valuable as a Subordinate and have shown such an Aptitude for Detail Work that it would be a Shame to waste you on a $5,000 Job,” said the Main Gazooks.  “Besides you are not Equipped.  You have not been to Yale.  Your Father is not a Stock-Holder.  You are not engaged to a Trust.  Get back to your High Stool and whatever Archibald wants to know, you tell him.”

* * * * *

MORAL:  One who wishes to be a Figure-Head should not Overtrain.

* * * * *

THE SUMMER VACATION THAT WAS TOO GOOD TO LAST

Once there was a Wife who gave the Money-Getter a Vacation by going into the Country for a Month.  Dearie took her to the Train, and all the way she kept saying that it did not seem just Right to romp away on a Pleasure Trip and leave him Shell-Roaded.

He began to fear that she would Weaken, so he told her that while he was slaving and humping in the City, it would give him sufficient Joy to know that Darling was out in the Woods, listening to the Birds.  He insisted that she should stay until she was thoroughly Rested.  Of course, he did not dare to make it too Strong.  He played the Self-Sacrifice Gag and threw in a Dash of Marital Solicitude, and made an awful Try at imitating one who has been soaked by a Great Sorrow.  As the Missus looked at him through her Tears and held his Salary-Hook in hers, little did she suspect that he had framed up a Poker Festival for that Night and already the Wet Goods were spread out on the Ice.

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Project Gutenberg
People You Know from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.