The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 1 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 267 pages of information about The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 1.

The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 1 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 267 pages of information about The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 1.

Our competition for her favor did not make us enemies; on the contrary we were drawn together into something like an offensive and defensive alliance by a common sorrow—­the successful rivalry of a singularly handsome Italian who sat next her at table.  So assiduous was he in his attentions that my office as the lady’s guide, philosopher and friend was nearly a sinecure, and as to the others, they had hardly one chance a day to prove their devotion:  that enterprising son of Italy dominated the entire situation.  By some diabolical prevision he anticipated Madame’s every need and wish—­placed her reclining-chair in the most sheltered spots on deck, smothered her in layer upon layer of wraps, and conducted himself, generally, in the most inconsiderate way.  Worse still, Madame accepted his good offices with a shameless grace “which said as plain as whisper in the ear” that there was a perfect understanding between them.  What made it harder to bear was the fellow’s faulty civility to the rest of us; he seemed hardly aware of our existence.

Our indignation was not loud, but deep.  Every day in the smoking-room we contrived the most ingenious and monstrous, plans for his undoing in this world and the next; the least cruel being a project to lure him to the upper deck on a dark night and send him unshriven to his account by way of the lee rail; but as none of us knew enough Italian to tell him the needful falsehood that scheme of justice came to nothing, as did all the others.  At the wharf in New York we parted from Madame more in sorrow than in anger, and from her conquering cavalier with polite manifestations of the contempt we did not feel.

That evening I called on her at her hotel, facing Union Square.  Soon after my arrival there was an audible commotion out in front:  the populace, headed by a brass band and incited, doubtless, by pure love of art, had arrived to do honor to the great singer.  There was music—­a serenade—­followed by shoutings of the lady’s name.  She seemed a trifle nervous, but I led her to the balcony, where she made a very pretty little speech, piquant with her most charming accent.  When the tumult and shouting had died we re-entered her apartment to resume our conversation.  Would it please monsieur to have a glass, of wine?  It would.  She left the room for a moment; then came the wine and glasses on a tray, borne by that impossible Italian!  He had a napkin across his arm—­he was a servant.

Barring some of the band and the populace, I am doubtless the Sole Survivor, for Madame has for a number of years had a permanent engagement Above, and my faith in Divine Justice does not permit me to think that the servile wretch who cast down the mighty from their seat among the Sons of Hope was suffered to live out the other half of his days.

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The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 1 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.