It was in vain that I swore I would not leave my faithful and Afflicted Columbine.  It was in vain that I tore myself from their grasp, and flew to her; and vowed to protect her; and wiped the tears from her cheek, and with them a whole blush that might have vied with the carnation for brilliancy.  My persecutors were inflexible; they even seemed to exult in our distress; and to enjoy this theatrical display of dirt, and finery, and tribulation.  I was carried off in despair, leaving my Columbine destitute in the wide world; but many a look of agony did I cast back at her, as she stood gazing piteously after me from the brink of Hempstead Hill; so forlorn, so fine, so ragged, so bedraggled, yet so beautiful.

Thus ended my first peep into the world.  I returned home, rich in good-for-nothing experience, and dreading the reward I was to receive for my improvement.  My reception, however, was quite different from what I had expected.  My father had a spice of the devil in him, and did not seem to like me the worse for my freak, which he termed “sowing my wild oats.”  He happened to have several of his sporting friends to dine with him the very day of my return; they made me tell some of my adventures, and laughed heartily at them.  One old fellow, with an outrageously red nose, took to me hugely.  I heard him whisper to my father that I was a lad of mettle, and might make something clever; to which my father replied that “I had good points, but was an ill-broken whelp, and required a great deal of the whip.”  Perhaps this very conversation raised me a little in his esteem, for I found the red-nosed old gentleman was a veteran fox-hunter of the neighborhood, for whose opinion my father had vast deference.  Indeed, I believe he would have pardoned anything in me more readily than poetry; which he called a cursed, sneaking, puling, housekeeping employment, the bane of all true manhood.  He swore it was unworthy of a youngster of my expectations, who was one day to have so great an estate, and would he able to keep horses and hounds and hire poets to write songs for him into the bargain.

I had now satisfied, for a time, my roving propensity.  I had exhausted the poetical feeling.  I had been heartily buffeted out of my love for theatrical display.  I felt humiliated by my exposure, and was willing to hide my head anywhere for a season; so that I might be out of the way of the ridicule of the world; for I found folks not altogether so indulgent abroad as they were at my father’s table.  I could not stay at home; the house was intolerably doleful now that my mother was no longer there to cherish me.  Every thing around spoke mournfully of her.  The little flower-garden in which she delighted was all in disorder and overrun with weeds.  I attempted, for a day or two, to arrange it, but my heart grew heavier and heavier as I labored.  Every little broken-down flower that I had seen her rear so tenderly, seemed to plead in mute eloquence to my feelings.  There was a favorite honeysuckle which I had seen her often training with assiduity, and had heard her say it should be the pride of her garden.  I found it grovelling along the ground, tangled and wild, and twining round every worthless weed, and it struck me as an emblem of myself:  a mere scatterling, running to waste and uselessness.  I could work no longer in the garden.