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OUR PARTICULAR TIP COMES OFF RIGHT!

You may remember that last week, just before the Derby, I furnished you with a prophecy.  So that there might be no doubt about it, I named the absolute First, Second, and Third.  Said I (page 255), “We may take it that the winner will be found out of the Common.”  But this was not enough.  That all should secure One, Two, and Three, I wrote, “Well might FRANCOIS PREMIER have observed (as I do), ’Bravo, Gouverneur!’” implying that the French horse was certain of a place.  But I went further still; I gave the Third.  I carefully introduced in my short article the name of every probable starter, save Martenhurst, who consequently became “the Field.”  And what did I say of the Field?  Why, “This year’s Derby will be won by one of two.  It will either fall to the Favourite or the Field.”  Surely this was good enough to point out No. 3?  Cheques from grateful backers may be sent to 85, Fleet Street, addressed to THE ODD MAN OUT.

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SAM WELLER ON “THE MELINITE DISCLOSURES.”—­“This here’s the bold Tur_pin_.”

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[Illustration:  UNCONSCIOUS CONFESSION.

Old Bachelor (who caters for himself).  “MRS. SMITH, I DIDN’T CARE FOR THAT LEG OF MUTTON I BOUGHT YESTERDAY.  IT HAD A QUEER FLAVOUR!”

Landlady.  “OH, SIR, IT WAS A BEAUTY!  AND SO DELICIOUSLY TENDER!”]

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ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

House of Commons, Monday Night, May 25.—­Members coming back in slightly increased numbers.  HARCOURT returned from his wandering to and fro.  AKERS-DOUGLAS back after his influenza experience; presently coming up to “tell” in a division, is welcomed by a cheer that rises as heartily from Opposition Benches as from Ministerial ranks.  JACKSON also back out of the Shadowed Valley; GORST, in his place again, sprinkles fine pinches of sublimated cayenne pepper upon CRAWFORD and others who want to know about Manipur.

[Illustration:  Back View of a Ruthless Tyrant.]

But though various benches filled up with familiar figures, Members look round in vain for one; finding it not, will not be comforted.  Where is OLD MORALITY?  Last time he was seen was on the Thursday preceding the holidays.  He had come back newly elected for the Strand; took part in business of sitting; just before dinner Members had watched his lithe figure disappearing towards the doorway, and he had been seen no more.  House had met again on the following night; had adjourned for the truncated holiday; had met again; and still OLD MORALITY’s seat was vacant, and there dwelt in the fond memory only that parting back view.