OPERATICUS MAGNIFICISSIMUS, who has given opera-goers this new and rare edition of Les Huguenots.  The gloved hand and the lorgnette of H.R.H. are visible in the omnibus-box, where our music-loving Prince is happily congratulating himself on another little FIFE being added to the harmonious Royal Band, while the loyal public is mightily pleased thus to have it proved to ocular demonstration, that the subtle villain, Influenza, has been baulked in his traitorous attempt on the Royal Personage, and they sincerely hope that the insidious poisoner, being thus arrested in his course, may, with all his treacherous bacilli, be for ever banished this happy and generally healthy realm.

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COMPETITION IN THE FUTURE.

    SCENE—­A Barrack-Room.  PRESENT—­President and Members of a
    Board of Examiners, sitting to pass Candidates for Commissions
    in the Line.

President.  Now, Gentlemen, I think we are agreed that cramming is to be discouraged.  We want an officer who can command a company, and not a scholar who can floor a paper for high-class honours—­that is the general idea, Gentlemen, isn’t it?

Chorus of Members.  Quite so.

Pres. Exactly.  Orderly, pass the word that we will see Mr. MUGGER. (The word is passed, when enter First Candidate.) Glad to see you, Sir.  Pray sit down.  I think you were at school?

First Candidate (nervously).  Yes, Sir, at Eton.

Pres. Humph! (Aside, to his Colleagues.) Rather an unpromising commencement.  However, he may have devoted more of his time to cricket or football in the Playing Fields than to anything else. (Aloud.) I hope you have not been to the University?

First Can. (almost moved to tears).  Alas, Gentlemen, my father would send me to Christchurch, and I am sorry to say I took a Double First!

Pres. (courteous, but sad).  I am afraid that will do. (Exit First Candidate, striving in vain to suppress a burst of unmanly emotion.) I am deeply grieved, Gentlemen, but I fear that we can do nothing further in this matter?

Chorus of Members.  Utterly impossible!

Pres. Exactly.  Orderly, call Mr. SHIRKWORKS. (Second Candidate enters.) Glad to see you, Sir.  Pray sit down.  I think you were at school?

Second Can. (with confidence).  Never, Sir, and allow me to add that I can scarcely read, don’t know how to spell, and have a firm impression that two and two make either three or five—­I forget which.

Pres. (beaming).  Excellent! (After a brief consultation with his colleagues.) Mr. SHIRKWORKS, I have much pleasure in informing you that we shall be glad to recommend you for a Commission. (Curtain.)

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