[HEDVIG throws down the pistol,—­which goes off and kills a rabbit—­and rushes into her father’s arms.  Old EKDAL comes out of a corner with a fowl on each shoulder, and bursts into tears.  Affecting family picture.

Gregers (annoyed).  It’s all very pretty, I dare say—­but it’s not IBSEN!  My real mission is to be the thirteenth at table.  I don’t know what I mean—­but I fly to fulfil it! [He goes.

Hialmar.  And now we’ve got rid of him, HEDVIG, fetch me the deed of gift I tore up, and a slip of paper, and a penny bottle of gum, and we’ll soon make a valid instrument of it again!

    [He pastes the torn deed together as the Curtain slowly
    descends.

THE END (with apologies as before.)

* * * * *

WHY SHOULD LONDON WAIT?

OR, THE SLIGHTED METROPOLIS AND THE DISAPPOINTED MEDICAL STUDENT.

[Sir RICHARD QUAIN (seconding the proposal of Lord HERSCHELL “that the draft Supplemental Charter for the University of London be approved”) said that with respect to Medical Degrees, those who were not in the profession could not realise the grievance which the Medical Students of London felt themselves to be sustaining by not being able to obtain their Degrees in the Metropolis.  Hundreds of capable men were driven to seek in Scotland, at Newcastle, and elsewhere the Medical Degrees which they ought to have obtained in London.]

[Illustration]

AIR—­“The University of Gottingen.”  London, loquitur:—­

  I.

  Whene’er with longing eyes you view
    Degrees, I feel I’m undone, Sir,
  And so do the companions true
  Who studied with you at the U-
      -niversity of London, Sir—­
      -niversity of London, Sir!

[Weeps, and pulls out report of stormy meeting of Convocation of University of London, where new draft charter (of which Lord HERSCHELL and Lord Justice FRY were the most prominent advocates) was rejected by 461 votes against 197.

  II.

  Report!  It saddens me—­and you. 
    Was it in cruel fun done, Sir! 
  What QUAIN and HERSCHELL, said was true! 
  Durham can crow it o’er the U-
      -niversity of London, Sir!
      -niversity of London, Sir!

[At the repetition of this line young—­but degreeless—­Medical Student groans in cadence.

  III.

  Degrees! I cannot grant them—­true! 
    Or it were with a run done, Sir. 
  I’m only the Metropolis.  Pooh! 
  Provincial pedants flout the U-
      -niversity of London, Sir!
      -niversity of London, Sir!

  IV.

  Talk of Home Rule?  It’s all askew! 
    I have it not, for one done, Sir. 
  I’ve taught you; your “trademark”—­boohoo!—­
  I cannot give you at the U-
      -niversity of London, Sir!
      -niversity of London, Sir!