House of Commons, Thursday, May 21.—­House resumed to-day, after so-called Whitsun holidays.  Weren’t to have come back till Monday.  OLD MORALITY settled that before he went off to Southern climes.  But next day WINDBAG SEXTON and JOKIM got to loggerheads.  WINDBAG insisted that Committee should specially sit to hear him move new Clause.  JOKIM demurred; pointed out that luxury might be enjoyed by House only upon condition of shortening holidays.  WINDBAG didn’t see any objection to that; sure House only too glad to give up half its holiday in order to hear few more speeches from him.  JOKIM, meaning to frighten WINDBAG, said, “Very well; then we’ll adjourn till Thursday.”  WINDBAG, not believing JOKIM was serious, said he didn’t care; game of bluff commenced; played so awkwardly that, in end, House jockeyed out of half its holiday.

[Illustration:  Toby’s Remedy for Influenza.]

But OLD MORALITY got all his; off before this blundering business took place; too far gone to be called back.  CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN suggests that we shall change his name; call him “The JUDICIOUS HOOKER.”  Certainly he “hooked it” a day before holidays commenced, and won’t return till several days after they have prematurely closed.  Still remnant of House here to-night, though growling and discontented, does not grudge him his holiday.

More than half Members on both sides away ill.  The Whips severely hit; MARJORIBANKS here as usual, making a bright space in the lobby with his genial presence and his smiling countenance.  But AKERS-DOUGLAS still away with most of his men, including the Mountainous HILL.

“Yes,” his man is reported to have said, in reply to inquiries, “Lord ARTHUR is still HILL, but gettin’ better.”

[Illustration:  Lord Arthur ’Ill—­but getting better.]

Only cheerful man on the premises is PLUNKET.  Beaming with health; glowing with vitality.

“The secret of it?” he said, when I asked him how he managed to look so well.  “Why, it’s exercise and fumigation.  Whilst you fellows have been making holiday, I’ve stuck to the House night and day.  I’ve fumigated every chamber with sulphur; I’ve sprinkled every wall with eucalyptozone.  The tiled floors I have washed with carbolic-soap, and the libraries I have purified with Thiocamp.  It was a little stiff at first; but, as Mr. G. says, there’s no rest like variety of occupation.  When I got tired of Eucalyptozone, I turned to with Thiocamp, and then went through a course of taking up carpets and thumping hair-cushions.  Quite sorry it’s over.”

Business done.—­In Committee on Land Purchase Bill.

Friday.—­“Do you like IBSEN?” ATTORNEY-GENERAL for IRELAND asked Prince ARTHUR just now, a propos of new Clause moved by SEXTON.

Curious man is MADDEN.  Lives a sort of dual life.  In House regarded as serious person, steeped in knowledge of Irish Question in its multiform aspects.  Really a fin-de-siecle Attorney-General; knows everything; is in everything; acquainted with IBSEN, misses few bazaars or drawing-room concerts, and was on speaking terms with the late Madame BLAVATSKY.