What?  You have heard me disparage Boy Bill
      As too Free in his ways by long chalks.  Well, I know it;
        But JOE is dead nuts on his go and his skill—­
      The Blinkers?  Oh yes!  Horse not used to him yet, Sir,
        And if he should spot him, might throw the young pup—­
      We must “go it blind,” only square chance, you bet, Sir,
        Of winning,—­espesh’lly with JOE’s jockey up!

* * * * *

[Illustration C100-259:  “GENERAL ELECTION STAKES.”

MR. P.  “WHAT!  RUNNING HIM IN BLINKERS?”

G-SCH-N (Trainer).  “YES; IT’S THE ONLY CHANCE OF A WIN.—­ESPECIALLY
WITH THAT JOCKEY UP!”]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  IT’S A GREAT THING FOR A MAN TO KNOW WHEN HE’S WELL OFF.]

* * * * *

SALISBURY’S VERSION.

(SEE THE PREMIER’S SPEECH AT GLASGOW.)

               War is a game
  Which, if Kings have their will,
     Peoples won’t play at.

* * * * *

“FRENCH AS SHE IS SPOKE.”—­The indefatigable international entrepreneur, Mr. M.L.  MAYER,—­who announces himself as “Sole Manager,” evidently, therefore, a fishmonger, and, according to Hamlet, a representatively “honest man,”—­intends to save Londoners the trouble and expense of visiting Paris by giving them three weeks, from June 15th to July 4th, of French plays, performed by the Theatre Francais Company, including Mesdames REICHENBERG and DUDLEY, three COQUELINS, one FEBVRE, and one MOUNET SULLY, at the Royalty Theatre.  Those whose hobby is the French Theatre, will be delighted to assist at the start of the well-trained MAYER, who has achieved the curious feat of “saddling himself” with this responsibility.

* * * * *

PARLIAMENTARY DIAGNOSIS.—­“Inflammation”—­of temper—­is the preliminary of “Congestion”—­of business, and these threaten to culminate in “Collapse”—­of credit.

* * * * *

LEAVES FROM A CANDIDATE’S DIARY.

May 13th.—­Expenses keep mounting up.  On Saturday received a letter from BLISSOP (Secretary of the Association), stating that it was deemed necessary to take a new Committee-room in Main Street, and asking me if they might draw on me for the cost of furnishing it, a matter of about L15.  Replied that I must take time to consider whether such expenditure was proper.  Three more charitable institutions claim me as an annual subscriber, and the Billsbury Free Hospital Committee have informed me that CHUBSON always gives them L10 a year.  Have had to do ditto.

May 14th.—­Had an extraordinary letter from VULLIAMY this morning.  He is staying at Billsbury—­but the letter explains itself.  Here it is:—­

    MY DEAR PATTLE, (Confidential.)